Thursday, June 26, 2014

Let's join Yensa!

In retrospect, they probably should
have hired Aaron Sorkin's coke habit.
Hey lookit this: there's a new Match.com dating site for smart people. It's in collaboration with Mensa and is uncleverly (not a word) called Mensa Match. So what the hell is Mensa? It's sort of a high IQ club where members sit around and ponder life's big questions. Questions like why Commander in Chief (starring Mensan Geena Davis) was canceled after only one season? I mean, it was pretty much The West Wing, except written by a team of writers instead of Aaron Sorkin's coke habit.

We're all stupider because this exists.
Anyway, in order to join Mensa and by extension, their online Yenta-service (which they totally should have called Yensa), you have to have an IQ in the top 2 percentile, which is something like 140 plus. Makes sense, right? Besides, how else can members ensure they won't end up on a date with someone who watches The Bachelor or follows TMZ? So as you can see, in many ways this is a really terrific idea. Of course it could also be a really terrible idea which would very well have dire consequences for the future.

"It's a simple integro-differential equation,
and it's not going to solve itself."
I know that not everyone who finds a partner on the site will be able to, or choose to have kids. But for the successful matches who do spawn, there's a decent chance that any children produced will inherit their parents above-average intelligence (or be forever a source of disappointment). Next, that Mensalet grows up and finds their own mate on Mensa Match and then cranks out even smarter kids and so on and so on. At some point aren't we kind of concentrating all the good genes in one place, breeding a race of super-geniuses?

She takes with her a generation's hope
for heightened intellectual discourse
as well as Beetlejuice 2...
Part of Mensa's stated goal is to "Identify and foster human intelligence for the benefit of humanity." Is this really benefiting humanity? If all the Mensans are breeding with each other, what about the rest of the human race? Shouldn't they be spreading the smart around a little? Is a society better off with a room full of Geenas Davis or just one super-Geena? The multi-Geena scenario provides different viewpoints, genetic diversity (they're not actually clones of Geena Davis, stay with me), and insurance against death or illness. I mean, let's not put all our braniacs in the same convertible, right?

Or should we trust Mensa? Maybe this Mensa Match thing is some kind of elaborate long game designed to breed an Übermensch who will lead us into a bold new age of enlightenment and anagrammatic achievement. After all, it worked for the Bene Gesserit.*
"Paul here is one of my brightest students, he's reading at a third-grade level and has already moved on to fractions.
We're not supposed to say this to parents, but we're pretty sure you've bred the Kwisatz Haderach. Congratulations!"

*add 10 points to your nerd roll, and then tell me of the waters of your homeworld, Usul.

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