Wednesday, May 17, 2017

A hot, steaming cuppa nerd!

"Shit, I don't know, maybe this fall?"
Hey, remember ten or twenty thousand years ago when CBS said that the new Star Trek show would be out this month? Well no such luck. They did however release a new trailer for it today and after months of delays and radio silence, a vague updated release date: this fall. Probably. Obviously this is going to be one of those posts where I nerd out so if that's not your cuppa, first of all, shame on you, but I'll understand if you want to sit this one out because I have faith that you will someday come to know the love of Spock.

Uh, because of time space continuum
reasons, I guess? It's all kind of a blur.
Anyway, if you forgot that this was even a thing that was happening, which is understandable, let me catch you up. The new series is called Star Trek: Discovery, to distinguish it from the thirty or forty other Stars Trek. It's set a decade before the original series. You know, the preposterous one form the 1960's? Yeah, you heard me. I love it and all, but holy shit that show was bananas. They visited a planet full of mobsters, met Abraham Lincoln and one time Kirk had to shove Joan Collins into oncoming traffic in order to keep the Nazis from winning World War II.

Pictured: Sonequa Martin-Green as
Comm-hang on, would it kill them to put
 curtains or something on starship windows? 
I suspect nothing like that will happen on Discovery however, as CBS would like us to not only take their show about outer space and aliens totally seriously, but also to watch it. And to that end the trailer kind of looks like a mash up of successful sci-fi from the last ten years. There's a little Mass Effect, a little Guardians of the Galaxy and a heaping helping of J. J. Abrams Trek reboot aesthetic as well. The sets, the costumes, there's even lens flare. And it's a small thing, but the bridge of the ship has a windshield which was never a thing until Abrams came a long.

Oh, and there's definitely more than a little Star Wars thrown in just to be safe. James Frain's Sarek shows up as a blue, shimmering hologram, I think I saw a droid in there and was that Lobot at the 57 second mark?
Above: A shot from the new trailer of Michelle Yeoh cosplaying as Rey.
All this guy does is complain about
his kids not being Vulcan enough.
We don't get a ton of details from the trailer about things like the story or the characters although what little dialogue we do get is about Martin-Green's character Commander Rainsford. Michele Yeoh offers her her own command, she's going to go up against the Klingons at some point and maybe she was raised by Sarek? Yeah, I don't know, but it sure looks like there's a flashback to baby Rainsford sporting a Spock-like bowl cut getting told by Sarek that she'll never learn to speak Vulcan because her tongue is too human or something. So is she like Spock's secret baby sister from another planet?

Hey look, Klingons? Or possibly orcs...
I don't know what's going on here.
Oh, and speaking of the Klingons, what's up with the Klingons? I mean yes, everybody loves them, especially as the antagonists so including them was probably a smart move, but why do they look so...well I mean, look at these guys (see right-no, really) I know they've never been super-consistent with the make-up before, but these Klingons are like crazy different from say, Worf or any of the other lumpy space vikings we've seen over the last 50 years. If anything they look like that mutated lizard-guy Idris Elba turned into in Star Trek Beyond

All in all, I guess I'm in, even if I do have to sign up for CBS's stupid streaming service. Yeah, if you want to watch the show, you'll have to subscribe to CBS All Access which is pretty lame. I mean, one of the things that doesn't suck about living in the future is not having to watch network television. Oh and did I mention that it has commercials? Because it has commercials. Like it's goddamn 1994.
CBS All Access. It's like Netflix if Netflix was mostly NCIS and
Big Bang Theory and made you pay to watch commercials.

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