Sunday, May 1, 2016

Bryan Fuller: Crusher of Dreams

Hey, lookit this. Star Trek is moving to Toronto. Which is in Canada. Eastern Canada. I'll give you a moment to let that sink in.
"Hullo there. We're the Borg. We'd like to assimilate you if that's all right. Resistance is just fine too,
you know, if you'd rather not join the collective, we certainly don't want to pressure you one way or the other. "
That's why the Stargate always led to
overcast planets full of people who
say aboot and pro-cess. 
If this information made you just shrug and say 'so?' congratulations, you're probably a healthy, well-rounded individual. If you're like me however, you slapped an open palm to your forehead and uttered a high-pitched 'what the what?' It's not that I have any particular problem with Canada. In fact, as I mention frequently and often for no reason at all, I myself am a quarter Canadian. Also, a lot of sci-fi gets filmed in Canada. Battlestar Galactica, the X-Files, Stargate SG-1 and all nine spin-offs were done in Vancouver.

I guess when you're Bryan Fuller, and have
 an excellent jacket, Star Trek comes to you.
How come? Tax breaks usually. Making any tv show has got to be expensive, but when you add in futuristic sets, lycra unitards, lumpy forehead appliances and fancy digital effects any city willing to offer you a free parking pass immediately shoots to the top of your where-to-film list. Also, Bryan Fuller, the new series' show-runner (one who runs the show? I don't know), was already up in Toronto doing Hannibal and now he's starting on an adaptation of American Gods there and besides L.A.'s kind of a schlep, you know?

Above: An artist's render-what?
They can draw the abs on digitally.
Anyway my beef with all this Canadian chicanery is that-huh? Yeah, I actually have a beef with all this, but don't worry, it's irrational, I'm sure the show's going to be great. Like I was saying, my beef is that Star Trek is coming back to television (ok, streaming) and they're filming just a couple of hours from my hometown in upstate New York. My hometown where I no longer live. I moved 3,000 miles away to California, where the likelihood of someone from Star Trek's casting department approaching me on the street and bringing me in to play Th'rah'ssk'Kdhke'll, the heroic Andorian Starfleet captain who doesn't play by the rules but gets results damnit, just went from mathematically insignificant, to statistically delusional. 

Oh didn't I mention? In addition to being a prolific Blog-person...I'm also an actor. You probably won't remember my breakout role as Gotham citizen # 18 in the The Dark Knight Rises because my scene was cut. Preemptively. At the extra's cattle call audition. The role just probably wasn't right for me. The good news is I'm available, so if anyone knows Bryan Fuller or is in a position to kidnap his house pets, give me a ring.    
I would have been somewhere in the know, looking intense,
but it's fine. You don't want to overshadow the story or's fine.

No comments:

Post a Comment