|I don't know about you but I'm beginning to like our chances in the robot uprising.|
|It also helps if the suspect is|
the lower half of a mannequin.
Its most useful feature is probably its ability to call the real cops for you because for real, this thing is a glorified Roomba. A Roomba with a taser. Roomba's don't have tasers, right?
|"Freeze creep. Dead or alive, you're coming with me."|
|Like, a high-end sex toy,|
but still...a sex toy.
"If a marked law enforcement vehicle were placed in front of your facility, criminal behavior would dramatically change. Weighting in at 300 lbs and standing 5 feet tall and 3 feet wide, the K5 balances a commanding physical presence with an absolutely fascinating technology that provides a positive "state-of-the-art" image for your operations."
|Although in their defense, a human|
security guard would be only
marginally more intimidating.
I don't know how much a Knightscope costs, and the website just tells you to contact their 'sales team' so they can explain to you why you need this ridiculous mecha-dildo so I can't say with any authority whether it's worth it. But since we've never let information stand in the way of forming an opinion, I'm going to call bullshit on this. If you're going to build a crime scarecrow, you can at least go through the trouble of making it look like it can goddamn end criminals rather than just gently stimulating their erogenous zones.
|Above: Knightscope 5 may never replace human security|
guards, but it sure can leave them satisfied and begging for more.