|Going bananas, but on fire. |
That's how crazy things got.
Anyway, there was punching, maybe even some shots fired, business tried to close those big metal gate things, but kids started climbing them. In the end it took like two and a half hours and fifty extra police officers to settle things down although, weirdly, nobody was arrested.
|"You know according to Kentucky law, mall riots aren't technically illegal. And to answer your |
next question, yes, cousin marriage totally is illegal, so suck on that, southern stereotypes."
|Above: This but with iPhones instead|
of a conch and pig's head on a stick.
|What does he want a cookie?|
Because he can have one.
"Our officers, they showed great restraint. Officers were focused on dispersing crowds and keeping them moving."
-Police spokesperson Dennis McDonald
proudly pointing out that his officers
didn't beat the shit out of children
Yup, that's a police spokesperson telling us that we should be grateful that officers didn't start clubbing kids, which I'll grant you is a low bar, but 2000 rampaging tweens? That'd test anybody. But really, what is up lately? Is this a new thing? There was that thing in Florida the other day and all those fights on Black Friday including one in this same mall. Suddenly my rage virus theory isn't looking so bananas foster.
|Above: The most reasonable theory.|