|I'd be the guy shouting 'shut up and turn off the goddamn plastic laser sword.'|
|Oh yeah J. J, right there...that's it...|
|Pictured: the same guy. See?|
I'm wrecking everything.
|Troposphere Wars would have |
been a more accurate title.
|Pictured: Snap Wexley. He |
comes with a grappling hook and
realistic plot exposition action.
Before the Resistance even knows about it, some crazy ginger space Nazi uses it to blow up the New Republic's home system, and we then spend the next twenty minutes of the movie watching it suck up another star to power a second volley, but even if, like Tatooine, its home system had multiple stars it's going to run out pretty quick.
|J. J. Abrams fun fact: this movie tops the Star Trek reboot's|
casual genocide score with six, count'em six exploding planets.
|Above: space wizards are really|
the most compelling reason I should
just shut up and eat my popcorn.
|Wait, you don't suppose this is just |
about selling tie-in merchandise, do you?
Or you could just wait until someone explains it on Wookiepedia (that's not me making a terrible pun, that's really what the Star Wars wiki is called). I mean, c'mon Disney, don't you have enough of our money already?
|"No, of course we goddamn don't."|