Hobb Lobb's a Holiday Snob!

"C'mon kids, find those rabbit eggs,
uh...for Jesus, I guess..."

So why doesn't Hobby Lobby carry decorations for Jewish holidays? I'm not like a business guy, but that seems kind of fakakta. Sure, I suppose Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, a holiday usually observed with fasting and prayer, probably doesn't lend itself to paper cut-outs and tinsel but that's never stopped anyone before. Somewhere along the line someone decided that Jesus punching his way out of his tomb and flying off into the sky had something to do with egg-laying bunnies and chocolate, so, I don't know, get creative.

Look everybody, it's Harry the Hanukoctopus! He brings children
a different gift in each of his eight tentacles, one for every day of Hanukah!
He climbs down your chimney and...no? Fine, you think of something.

"You're welcome ladies! Now,
don't name it after me, alright?"

But whatever, after the thing last January with the new health care law and-you don't remember? Mike Huckabee, the Chick fil-A guy stepped in, it was a whole thing. Here, click on this. Yeah, the new health care law requires employers to offer insurance that covers contraception, which I guess flies in the face of everything a company that sells pipe cleaners and glue sticks stands for, so Hobby Lobby fought and for reasons beyond understanding kind of won.

Above: Some of the people
Hobby Lobby doesn't cater to.

Anyway, back to this new thing. Check this out. A blogger named Ken Berwitz recently caught wind of Hobby Lobby's lack of Jewish holiday decorations. When a friend of his inquired as to what's up with that? she was told by a clerk: "We don't cater to you people." Holy shit, rude right? The writer himself called and was told that "Because Mr. Green is the owner of the company, he's a Christian and those are his values."  Wow, that's kind of lame. 

"We're working to reevaluate new
solutions and synergies moving forward." 

-Hobby Lobby President Steve Green

Here's the company's official, less caustic statement:

"Hobby Lobby Stores, Inc. is currently working with our buyers over our merchandise selection. Our customers have brought this to our attention and we are currently evaluating our Holiday items and what we will carry in the future."

-Hobby Lobby,

Winner of the 2013 Least Substantive 

Corporate Statement Award

Look, Hobby Lobby can carry or not carry whatever they damn well please, and nobody's suggesting otherwise. In fact, Berwitz later clarified that he's not calling for a boycott or anything, he's just saying that they've lost him as a customer. Still, Hobby Lobby is a business, you'd think they'd want to sell things. 

"Hah-noo-kah? Sorry, I'm not familiar with that one. We have some
 nice crosses though, 50% off, why not try one of those?"

-Dave, from the Rapid City store

"Why I oughta..."

-Jesus, Matthew  21:12

Also, I'm not a theologian, but I'm a little unclear as to how selling dreidels and menorahs would be incompatible with Hobby Lobby President Steve Green's religion. You'd think a guy who once kicked the crap out of money lenders for mixing religion and commerce would have a bigger problem with Steve dropping hundreds of thousands of dollars (I'm guessing, but it couldn't have been cheap) on his collection of Biblical artifacts. Like, shouldn't he be feeding starving children or something?

Green's latest acquisition: a ninth century prayer book.
Not pictured: hungry children.