The Revolution Will Be Ill-advised!

Above: Rep. Griffith
opening his word hole.

Today in ridiculous, self-aggrandizing justifications for interfering with the democratic process:

"I will remind you that this group of renegades that decided that they wanted to break from the crown in 1776 did great damage to the economy of the colonies...They created the greatest nation and the best form of government, but they did damage to the economy in the short run."

-Representative Morgan Griffith,

Republican from Virginny

Really? House Republicans shutting down the government and threatening to plunge the country, and possibly the world into another economic catastrophe reminds him of the Revolutionary War? That's really interesting because it reminds me of a bunch of Tea Party shitmerchants throwing a tantrum because they don't like Obamacare. 

"Onward lads! We fight for freedom, liberty and  
the repeal of the 2.3% tax on the sale of medical devices!"

-Brigadier General Kaiser Permanente,

Continental Army, April, 1778

Everything this woman has ever
said in her life, for instance.

I suppose you could argue that the American Revolution was little more than rich, land owning, white guys throwing everything into chaos because they didn't want to pay taxes, so on a really cynical level, Griffith sort of has a point, but after that the comparison kind of falls apart. The American colonists didn't have a voice in the way they were being governed so they rebelled and formed their own government. The Republicans on the other hand totally have a voice, except that they use it to say stupid, backwards shit (see left), so we voted them out.

We can do that thanks to the colonists and the government they set up: the one Griffith called the 'best form of government' and the very same one the GOP is completely undermining with the shutdown. I'm not sure the American Revolution is really the analogy he should be reaching for.

"The Patriots during the Revolutionary War? Well, with respect to representative Griffith,
I don't think that's a fair comparison. We're more like Jesus. If you recall, He died because He
believed that the free market should determine who should and who should not get cancer treatment."

-House Speaker John Boehner*

I guess they're saving us from having to
 fill out health insurance forms...hurray?

What's really terrifying about Griffith's comment is the way he sounds like he's trying to soften up the ground for the damage defaulting on our loans will do to the economy. Like he's totally cool with it. Sure, the Revolution screwed up the economy of the colonies, but those guys were fighting for freedom from tyranny, the GOP is fighting against a law that makes health insurance affordable. Like, do they really think we're going to give them a parade for that?

Pictured: Morgan Griffith marching in the first ever Shutdown Day Parade.
Although, the only real hero I see here is a braided leather belt.

*Speaker Boehner may not have actually said this. I mean he might have, I don't know, anything's possible. He does come out with some crazy shit.