Fun Fact: The Beast is Bulletproof

Do they not get that if they just calm down-sorry, I'm talking about gun fans and this bullshit. It's an article from NPR about how the run-up to the election has spurred a gigantic spike in gun sales. Fire arms aficionados are stocking up like it's the Rapture which is weird because everyone knows that bullets are useless against the seven-headed, ten-horned beast.

Yeah, good luck gun nuts.

"Yeah, Donald you got me, I hate babies."

-Hillary Clinton

How come? Obviously it's bulletproof and-oh, you meant how come sales are up? Well, lot's of reasons, For one, hunting season, sorry huntin' season is upon us, but also the election. Yeah, people are freaking out over the potential of Hillary Clinton's PC Gestapo goose-stepping into their homes, taking their guns and then making them all get gay-married. Sounds crazy, right? Yes, that's because it is crazy, but we live in crazy times. Remember at the debate when Donald Trump waved an orange finger and accused Hillary Clinton of wanting to murder babies?

Pictured: a Trump supporter calling for
the arrest of Clinton. Not pictured:
even a hint of irony. Because c'mon.

So bananas, but they're just buying more guns now because they think they'll be harder to buy if Clinton wins, right? Yes? But then this election has also seen a lot of not-so-veiled threats of violence coming from Trump's campaign. Like he smirkingly insists on not committing himself to accepting the election results, continually calls the process rigged, but only if he looses and one time even hopefully suggested that someone might shoot her. Shoot her. Holy shit, right? Like when did it become ok for a major political party to threaten violence if they don't win?

Now can we please stop calling
them the party of Lincoln?

Look, I'm not so much worried about Trump fans actually taking to the streets with weapons if Clinton wins, as I am worried that their leadership has said exactly jack-shit to condemn them. Like, 'vote for our guy or else' and threatening to lock up your opponent is the exact opposite of how our elections are supposed to work. These are the things that make us not North Korea. And you know the last time gun owners took up arms because they didn't like the election results we had to fight a whole war. Aren't we sick of this shit yet?

Am I being paranoid for buying the explanation that the spike in gun sales is related to tomorrow's election and Republicans being all butt-hurt over the prospect of another four years of a Democrat in the White House? Yes. But then I'm not the one buying an arsenal.

I suppose we can all take comfort in the idea that any rebellion
fomented by these guys could be put down by canceling their Xbox
Live accounts and cutting off supplies of Monster Energy Drink.