Friday, November 18, 2016

Mother of the year doncha know...

Hey, have you got kids? I don't, but I understand that most parents are usually pretty attached to them and in general have their best interests in mind. After all, children are a form of immortality and until having children can finally be rendered pointless by a combination of cloning and brain-upload technology, they're all we've got.
Soon cloning technology will spare us from ever
again having put up with teen angst and all the whining.
Typically judges don't haul you into court
to tell you you've been doing a good job.
But then what do I know? As a childless shut-in, I don't really have a basis upon which to form an opinion on the subject, but then again this is the internet, so when has that ever stopped anyone? Anyway, I think we can all agree that anyone who can bring up a child without taking them to court has done a good job of being a parent, right? Like, if you're suing you're child, you've probably done something wrong. Take this Minnesota woman who filed suit against her own daughter. How come? Well brace yourself because the answer might surprise-wait, no, no I think that after last week we're beyond surprises.

From here on out it's just going to be a parade of increasing disappointments in the shitiness of our fellow Americans.
Yes, I understand that this has nothing to do with the election and that
Clinton actually won Minnesota, but for right now I'm just going to be
 putting everything under the category of 'the red states can suck it,' ok?
"What's next, dancing? Where does it end?
Disrespect for authority that's where."
-The Dad from Footloose
Get this: she's suing her daughter because she got gender re-assignment surgery and didn't ask her first. I think the phrase you're looking for is 'are you for goddamn kidding me?' And no, I'm not kidding you. Anmarie Calgaro is upset because her daughter, who was born biologically male, received hormone therapy without her (Calgaro's) consent. Consent which is not at all required in Minnesota in cases where a minor does not live with the parent as is the case here. At least that's why she says she's upset.

Above: Calgaro giving a statement to
the press and-you'd think they could
give her a phone book or something
Here's what she said at a press conference behind a comically large podium:

" know I asked him to wait until he was 18 to make any major decisions with his life, just hang on and you know, let time play out here and just wait until you're 18 to go about changing your name or your identity and uh, he was eager to have that done..."

-Anmarie Calgaro on why she's suing her own 
daughter at the most vulnerable point in her life

Instead of a 400% increase in the
likelihood of being awesome.
Oh, so she was just asking him to hold on for-hang on, him? She must have misspoke, it's an easy mistkake....she just wanted her daughter to wait until she was 18 before making any major life decisions, right? That's just parenting. Like, if she wanted a tattoo and Anmarie wanted her to wait, but she went around her back right? Yes, just like that, if wanting a tattoo carried a 400% increase in likelihood of suicide. Yeah, the suicide rate among trans people between 18-24 year-olds is 45%. Forty-five percent. Holy shit.

That's lawyers for you, always helping
people who can't afford counsel. Jerks...
Ok, maybe she's unaware of this chilling statistic and doesn't realize that she's putting her daughter through even more stress and turmoil.

"Last year without my knowledge or consent, without any court hearings or legal process, without any involvement on my part whatsoever, a legal aide group who gives services to low-income people created a notice of emancipation for my fifteen year-old son..."

-Calgaro, on how-wait did she say son?

See? That's what this is really about, overreaching social services interfering with her parental-wait, did she-yes, she totally said 'son.' So either she's refusing to acknowledge her daughter's gender identity at all so either she's unclear about how the whole transgender thing works. Too harsh? I don't know, it's just that her outrage would seem a little more plausible if she led with something like, 'I love and support my daughter, but...' Oh, and also it would help if she was just suing social services and not, you know, her own kid.

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