Sunday, January 4, 2015

Not OK, Oklahoma, not OK...

Crime: solved. That's right, Oklahoma, America's uh...something State...what is their thing anyway? Well, whatever it is, they've just come up with a way to prevent all crime forever. Either that or they've come up with another misguided knee-jerk law designed to make cranky old men feel safe in a world full of teens who wear their dungarees too low.
I don't know, if I were this guy I'd be more worried about the grim specter of my own mortality
and not the teenagers with their rap music and lack of respect for their elders.
Wha-what? A ski mask? You are in big
trouble mister! Also, please don't shoot me.
Oklahoma State Senator Don Barrington has proposed a bill that would make it illegal to wear a mask or hood during the commission of a crime or to intentionally conceal one's identity in a public place. Doing so could lead to a fine of $50-$500 or one year in jail. The first part sounds almost reasonable, although I feel like if you're knocking over the local Kum & Go (no reallythese exist) with a shotgun, you might as well go all in and wear a ski mask or something. I mean, what's the worst that will happen, a five hour stand-off with police ending in a hail of bullets and a $50 fine?

Remember, remember the fifth
of Novemb-you know what?
I think it did say 'minstrel troupes.'
Critics are concerned that such a law would effectively ban wearing the hood on hooded sweatshirts entirely, and constitute a violation of people's rights to dress how they choose. Proponents on the other hand insist that the critics are only against the law because they love crime so much. Barrington's bill does contain exceptions for religious garb, Halloween costumes, parties, bad weather, circus performers and 'minstrel troupes.' So I guess if you're going to rob a bank, wait for Guy Fawkes Night or something...wait a minute, did that say 'minstrel troupes?'

Are you for goddamn kidding me Oklahoma State Senator Don Barrington? You stuck in an exception for minstrel shows? What the fuck is wrong with you?
Hey, I think we just found their thing.
Oklahoma: The 'we're still OK with blackface' State.

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