Monday, October 27, 2014

Thanks for Reading! Also, Porn!*

Pictured: The thing you've been reading.
Or possibly not reading...I have no idea.
Hey, you know what this is? It's-wait, you're nodding. You do know what this is? I find that unlikely, but ok, go on, what was I going to say? Hm? Oh, you don't know and you only pretended to in the hope that maybe I wouldn't ramble on about it? Say, how'd that work out? Anyway, get this: this is the 500th Onward Stranger Fiction post (or Quintocentapostian). 500, even though I ran out of things to say two or three hundred posts ago. You guys are troopers, thanks for reading!

"Seriously? 2 Broke Girls? You
might want to draw the curtains."
That is, if you actually are reading. For all I know, you could be idly cycling through complete stranger's blogs, getting brief glimpses into their lives. You know, sort of like when you walk down a street at night and you pass a house with the blinds open and the lights on and the people are just going on about their business as though they were unaware that they're in some kind of human zoo. Like, what is that? Don't they know that we can see in and are judging their decorative taste and television choices?

Before you call me out for pics of dino-
porn, ask yourself why you were looking
for Rick Santorum porn in the first place.
Out of curiosity, I decided to look up which individual post had the most views and it turns out it's a post from May of 2012 called Let's declare war on porn!. It's about some bullshit claim Rick Santorum made about porn leading to brain damage and it has 8405 hits, more than double the next most viewed post. Double. I'm no statistician, but I think the take away here is that putting the word 'porn' in the title of your blog post is a sure-fire way to get people to read your stuff. I suppose I should probably apologize to everybody who googled 'Rick Santorum' and 'porn' only to stumble across this blog and a picture of a couple of tyrannosauruses doing it.

Anyway, like I said, thanks for reading and I hope you'll join me for another 500 knit-picky discussions about Star Trek, rants against homophobic politicians and celebrations of obscure and/or fictitious holidays. Well, realistically I've probably got like 10 or 15 more left in me, but I'll try to work the word 'porn' into the titles.
Above: Star Trek The Next Generation: A XXX Porn Parody,
which, I guess, exists, and now you're aware of it. Sorry.

*actual blog may not contain porn.

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