Newt Gingrich: The GOP isn't racist. Homophobic yes, but racist, no.

"The GOP? Racist? What? Some of our
best party chairs were Afro-merican!"

-Newt Gingrich

According to Newt Gingrich, the Republican party isn't racist, so that's a relief. But is his opinion really the most reliable and unbiased? I'm not saying this because he's an adulterous hypocrite (although he is), but he's not likely to trash his own party, right? It's sort of like how William Shatner said that Star Trek is better than Star Wars. Sure, in this case Shatner is correct, Star Trek is better. Shut up, it is. But here's the thing, he most famous for playing Captain Kirk. Can we really take his remarks as anything other than dramatic pause-ridden cheerleading?


Without Star Trek, Shatner might just be some doughy Canadian guy who played T.J. Hooker and starred in the world's only all-Esperanto movie. Don't get me wrong, he is one of the greatest actors of our time, but he's hardly going to knock the thing that made him.

"Mi...havi...sufica...da vi!"

-Star Trek III, Act. V Sc. 4

Pictured: That totally not racist time
Mitt Romney asked who let the dogs out.

So back to how the GOP is not at all racist. Maybe there's some truth to this. The Republicans I know aren't racists and most of the ones on TV probably aren't. In my experience they're otherwise reasonable people who just happen to love the death penalty and believe that corporations should be treated like people...people who should never pay taxes and sit above the laws of man and reason. Oh and guns, they like guns. Health care? Tough shit, we've got drones to build. And a lot of them think gay people are an abomination...What was I talking about?


Oh, right, not all Republicans are racists. I'd buy that, but I'm not really sure the racist Republicans even know when they're being racist. Sort of like how old people say 'chinamen.' Remember that time Bill O'Reilly* went to a restaurant in Harlem and walked out pontificating on how well behaved the other customers were? It's like that.

"There wasn't one person in Sylvia's who was screaming, M.F.-er, I want some more iced tea."

-Bill O'Reilly

(hand to god, he really said this)

It's like this.

I'm not saying that the party is racist, I mean, what do I know? Yeah, it does seem to be the party racists are more apt to join and racists sure like to vote for them. And sometimes they seem to pull some pretty racist crap designed to show the rest of us how reverse-racist we are. But I guess it's not entirely fair to call the GOP racist. Fine. Granted. They're totally the party of Lincoln. But is it just me or is the GOP totally cool with homophobia? Fighting to keep gays and lesbians from getting married is part of the goddamn Republican platform in a lot of states and they're ok with that. So can I call them homophobes?

Above: Berkeley College Republicans strike a blow for white people with a bake sale.
To criticize college admissions practices, cupcakes for white people cost $2.00, hispanics paid $1.50
and black people were disproportionately arrested and served longer prison terms.

*Bill O'Reilly is an Independent and not technically a Republican. I'm only using him as an example of people who say totally racist things, without knowing how racist they sound. But for real.