Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Yet another winning combination!

Have you ever been on a bike and thought to yourself 'hey, how come I'm not drinking?' Well good news: Governor Jerry Brown just signed a bill that makes beer bikes legal in California begging the question what the hell is a beer bike? Spoiler alert: it's a bike with beer. Behold...
Above: Jerry Brown sitting on a beer bike and signing the Beer Bike Bill
into law. He also signed a bill yesterday that makes doctor assisted suicide legal
in California which-wait, he did go back to his office for that one, right?
'Drunk: The only way to experience
beautiful downtown Minneapolis!'
-The Twin City Tourism Board
The idea is that it's sort of like a pedal-powered tour bus that serves beer. Usually beer, I suppose they could serve wine too. Everyone sits at the bar and pedals and one person, presumably the least wasted, steers. There's a company that rents them in Minneapolis and since opening in 2006, their bikes have been robbed by a flash mob, pelted with water-ballons and rear-ended by a drunk driver in an accident that sent eight people to the hospital. So, as track records go they're not exactly-huh? Yeah. Minneapolis, I noticed that too. I guess if you're vacationing in Minneapolis, alcohol would have to play a role.

Anyway, I'm not trying to be like cranky nay-sayer here, but nay, says I. I'm just not sure that more slow-moving pedal-powered vehicles is something California needs. Look, I actually don't have anything against cyclists, I really don't, it's just that there's no way these things are going to fit in a bike lane. Traffic is already pretty bad here, even outside of large cities. Now if you're driving and need to get somewhere, there's a decent chance you're going to be late because you got stuck behind someones rolling bachelorette party.

Yes, I know that we love things that are also other things. Phones that are cameras. Chicken sandwiches with bread that is also chicken. But can we, as a species, seriously not just sit down and enjoy a beer with our friends? I mean, is the throbbing pulse of Minneapolis' city center really not enough without having to drink? Ok, bad example, go back to my first one.
Pictured: A bunch of losers drinking at an
old-fashioned, stationary bar. Bo-ring...

1 comment:

  1. Bend, OR has these. You rent it with a driver and you have to bring your own beer. It's kind of a glorified brewery tour where you pedal a lot in between.