|Now Columbus has ruined two holidays.|
Fortunately, because travel at super-luminal speeds causes relativistic time dilation effects, and because our concept of time is limited by our primitive linear minds, I'm going to go ahead and declare today to be Federation Day. Oh, and fair warning: we're going to be talking nerdy from hear on out, so if that's not your cup of raktajino, maybe skip this one.
|Oh please, like that made any less sense than any|
of the technobabble Geordi LaForge came up with...
|Back to the Future didn't lie to us, it just |
grossly exaggerated hoverboard availability.
|Above: The unchallenged ruler of one|
quarter of the Earth (source: history).
There were a couple of non-specific references to Khan and the Eugenics Wars in later Trek series, but writers were careful to avoid any specific dates. After all, the 1990's came and and went with nary a single genetically-engineered coup d'etat. But then Into Darkness came out in 20-goddamn-13 and ripped off the Wrath of Khan right down to Khan's ridiculously dated warlord of the 90's origin story.
|"Captain, you don't know what it was like. The chaos, the |
violence. Have you ever heard of Ace of Base? If you had,
you would understand that I did what needed to be done..."
|You can even flap them open and shut|
and make them talk like a high-tech puppet.
Spock even once used his to record all of human history including searchable newspaper articles from alternate timelines. I realize we have iPhones now with all kinds of apps, but tricorders transcend plausible functionality and fall squarely into the category of 'because the script needs this to happen.'
|"Fascinating, I'm detecting high levels of narrative expedience and lazy writing..."|
|"Command not recognized, please |
clarify: 'bite me you stupid, addle-
In fact, the most prescient computer technology suggested by Star Trek was probably the gear crammed into the humanoid skull. Yup, spoiler alert: we're turning in to the Borg. Constantly sharing our thoughts with each other on our smartphones is just the first step, next up is wearable tech followed by implantable tech. Seriously, what are we, fifteen, twenty years away from waiting in line at the Apple store for the next iBorg neuro-link?
|Sure we're probably condemning ourselves to a meaningless existence |
as a planet full of tech-addicted automatons inextricably linked to the
hive mind, but at this point will we notice much of a difference?