|Either it's Independence Day or the opening volleys of a super-festive invasion.|
|Which, incidentally, kind of happened.|
|Pictured: Any idiot.|
No, of course you're not with me. It doesn't make any sense but here we are, 238 years after a bunch of rebel scum cast off an oppressive aristocracy and replaced it with an oppressive plutocracy, and celebrating it by blowing our thumbs off with the totally well-thought out combination of fireworks and alcohol.
|She's got a nipple! Everybody down!|
Let's face it, we're kind of divided as a people, now more than ever, but the minute there's a terrorist attack or we get to the World Cup, we all band together in the spirit of 'merica. I mean, did anyone care about soccer until a few weeks ago? Anyway, Happy Birthday America, you're a confusing place to live.
|What's...what's going on here?|