Today in the darkest timeline:

On the one hand, I think the nascent second Trump administration operates under the assumption that we're all idiots. On the other hand, the fact that there is a nascent second Trump administration in the first place suggests that they are correct in at least 77,303,586 cases. Specifically the cases involving rubes. I say that because of this press release from the empty, fascistic shell of the U.S. Department of Education:

It's like the words tumbled forth from the gibberish hole of some
felonious real-estate developer nepo-baby, and not say, a government agency.

Pictured: The DoE, seen here unharmed
and definitely not speaking under duress.

To be clear, that's not a campaign ad or a mailing sent out to the most gullible among us, this is the official Department of Education website and it sits alongside another press release about how glorious leader has taken steps to eliminate the DEI because wokeness and immigrants. Or something. The "news" story goes on to explain that the department's now ironically named Office for Civil Rights has dismissed eleven complaints "that local school district removed age-inappropriate, sexually explicit, or obscene materials from their school libraries."

"I'm trans now."

-a child, reading

Wait, what kind of monster am I? Certainly a grade school should remove books about--oh, wait--vague language? Inappropriate? Obscene? This is about gay stuff, isn't it? Probably. I haven't yet been able to find which claims have been dismissed, but book-banning in a twenty-first century American context is almost always because some parent is big-mad about books making their kids gay or suggesting that maybe racism is bad. But luckily for us, Biden's Book Banning Hoax is over. Hurray. 

"Ow! Our precious, fragile worldview!"

-Republicans

Yeah, ok, couple of things. First, enough with the alliteration. Biden's Book Banning? I mean, enough. Second, the "hoax" they refer to is the Right-wing position that there are no book bans and never were. School districts were and are simply removing books from their libraries at the behest of Republican-led legislatures because they conflict with their Right-wing worldview. Which is not a ban in their way of thinking, but rather the prohibition, through legal means, of the use or distribution of materials they personally find objectionable. See? Totally different. 

I get this sinking feeling that the department is in its final months before being dissolved. Like, it will soon be deemed government waste by that fascist-salute throwing billionaire, and I really feel for the staff who got into this business because they believed in the importance of education, and now have to sit there while their new bosses tear it to pieces as part of the performative conservatism their voters crave. 

Pictured: Trump and Musk discussing how many more basic government
services they need to eliminate before their fathers are proud of them.