Today in Pied Pipers of the willfully ignorant:

You know, the word "hero" gets thrown around a lot these days, but sometimes it's appropriate. Sometimes, a person of great courage and conviction takes a stand against oppression and strikes a blow for freedom, faith and basic human kindness. This however is not one of those times and Kirk Cameron is not one of those people. 

"Alright, who's ready to endanger some lives?"

-Cameron, taking a stand

Above: pretty much this, but with
sputum. Did I mention the sputum?

A former teen heartthrob and current adult idiot, Cameron has been using his platform as a guy who was once on a sitcom that went off the air twenty eight years ago to organize what he's calling peaceful protests against public health official's desperate pleas to stop infecting others with a potentially fatal respiratory disease that's already killed hundreds of thousands and crippled the global economy. The actor, turned pied piper of the willfully ignorant, has held two separate Christmas caroling jaunts wherein maskless fools stand really close, sing songs and inhale each other's sputum. 

Above: white Christians are among the
most oppressed people in our nation's history.

(source: white Christians)

Singing, of course, was one of the first things the CDC identified as probably the fastest and most reliable ways to spread COVID-19. It's also one of the easiest things to avoid. Surprisingly few people's livelihoods rely on Christmas caroling, yet Cameron is framing the basic stay-at-home orders and mask requirements as a brutal assault on his and his fellow protestors' freedom. Because of course he is. Because if there's one thing conservative, evangelical Christians love it's to feel persecuted, no matter how down-trodden they're not. It's their catnip.

"How have I never heard of Jesus before?"

-no one

"We are going to be celebrating our God-given liberties, our constitutionally protected rights at this time at Christmas to sing Christmas songs to gather, to assemble and to sing about the birth of our savior."

-Kirk Cameron, finally getting the word out

He uh...he knows that Jesus is the central figure of the world's largest religion and is someone around whom western culture has basically revolved for the better part of the past two thousand years, right? 

And sure, he's correct that his protests are constitutionally protected. No one's arguing that. But they are also dangerous and incredibly selfish so maybe don't? I mean, I'm sure Jesus would understand if you took a year off from singing about Him off key in a mall parking lot, you know, if lives depended on it. Which in fact, they do.

"As a frontline medical worker, I may not agree with Kirk Cameron's constitutionally
protected, yet plainly reckless right to demonstrate how devoted he is by endangering
others, but I'm willing to die a slow death drowning in my own mucus to defend it."

-literally not one medical professional anywhere