Breaking: Nerd comments on Star Wars news

Hey, remember how Disney bought Star Wars from George Lucas and everyone was like: uh-oh? And then they did Episode VII and we were like ok, cool? But then they made a new Star Wars movie like every year and we all just got like, super sick of it?

"No..."

-People who dress up 

for opening night

"A female...director? Highly unorthodox!
Most irregular! What if she gets hysterical?"

-The Film Industry, still

Remember that? Well good news! On yesterday's Disney investor's call, Kathleen Kennedy, president of Lucasfilm announced only one new Star Wars movie, and you can relax, it's like three years away. Oh, and it's going to be directed by Wonder Woman director Patty Jenkins, the first woman to direct a Star Wars movie and-huh? Yeah, can you believe that? There's been like a dozen of these things and in forty years Jenkins is the first woman to direct one. Oh, you can believe that and it's another example of the misogyny implicit not only in the film in industry but in the culture as a whole? Yeah, that tracks.

"Everything you love is grist for our mill. Ho-ho!"

-Some mouse

But finally, after a tumultuous five years of over-saturation and the polarized, toxic fan reaction to anything and everything, Disney, as a company, is letting things settle down and is taking their time with Star Wars movies. And I actually liked most of the Disney-era films, with the exception of that last one, but for real, they needed to give it a rest. I think this pause will make new Star Wars movies will feel like events again instead of an annual obligation. I don't like the idea of applauding a faceless and greed-driven corporation, but this is probably a good decision and credit where credit is due. 

Except that they also announced like fifty new Star Wars streaming series, so credit where credit is don't. Ok, I exaggerate, it's ten Star Wars shows, plus more Mandalorian, but still, eleven? That's a lot of uh...<inward shudder> content. 

"Now as you know, there's been a lot of discussion about franchise fatigue, so
 in response...here's a shit ton more Star Wars. Bet you didn't see that coming!"

-Lucasfilm President Kathleen Kennedy

I'm not saying it was the best movie, but I am
saying Lando had a cape room so like a B-? B?

Now it may sound like I'm dragging Kathleen Kennedy here, but I'm not. She takes a lot of shit from people that maybe take all this way too seriously, but I don't think she deserves it. Like, she's often held personally responsible for Solo not making a ton of money and for Rise of Skywalker just, I guess, existing, but the fandom seems to forget sometimes that Solo was better than it's given credit for and that The Mandalorian was on her watch as well. 

But how do I fell about yesterday's news? I'm glad I pretended you asked. I'm first and foremost a trekkie rather than a warsie. That's the term, right? Anyway, I'm a fan, like, I know what a gaffi stick is and have opinions about the prequels, but I'm not going to post a YouTube video about the biological implications Hera and Kanan Jarrus' half human/half twi'lek son. Where I'm going with this is, this is fine. I'm into it.

Ok, now that I've brought it up, that is kind of weird. I didn't think different
species could interbreed in Star Wars. Maybe just say it was midi-chlorians?

The Obi-Wan show doesn't end
well for Obi-Wan, so, uh, spoiler?

If I had a qualm about any of this, it might be that most of these new series are apparently set before Episode IX, making them essentially prequels. And that feels like they're already relying on previously established characters and settings. Which, for a fandom so famously averse to spoilers, is a little weird. But on the other hand, Lando, Ahsoka, and Obi-Wan are getting their own shows, so I'm in. Usually I'd say here, take my money, but this is Disney, so chances are they've already got it.

Like lying on a bed of nails, but with
vitriol instead of, you know, nails.

And yeah, eleven shows is a lot. Like, a lot. Not even Star Trek is churning out that many right now. Sure, we're all hoping for quality not quantity, but I suppose if you don't like one of them you can just wait a few weeks for another one to come out. Actually, I'm beginning to wonder if this isn't something of a defensive maneuver designed to mitigate the inevitable and vocal jerk contingent of hard-core fans who will blame one show or another for ruining their childhood and then expound on how they would have written it differently. You see, with eleven different shows, the fan anger is distributed evenly. 

I suppose you have to admire Disney-wait, I take that back. They're a monopolistic leviathan of a corporation that will crush anything it can't assimilate into its portfolio of franchises. Their sheer size and power means they don't even have to be creative, they can simply inundate us with-ugh, and again, I hate using this word-content. We're bound to like something, and if we don't, our ire simply bounces off them and they move on.

Above: basically Disney. And yes, I realize I'm mixing
fandoms here. Like I said, I'm more trekkie than warsie.