Sunday, March 3, 2019

Today in sci-fi nonsense:

Can we talk about Star Trek? Because we're like seven episodes into season two and we haven't talked about it yet. Cool? Great. Oh, and if this is two nerdy for you, bail out now. Huh? I don't know, read a book, go outside, do I have to think of everything?
Have you considered philately?
You heard me.
Ok, still there? Ok, now, once more into the nerdy breach! So Disco season two. Yeah, Disco, that's what the cool kids call Star Trek: Discovery. I've been loving the shit out of it so far. We're only half way through, but the new season has been even more fun and more Star Trek-y than the first. Yes, the show plays fast and loose with some Trek canon stuff, updating the technology, giving the Klingons two wing-wangs, but you know what? I don't care. I know it's Trekkie-blasphemy, but it's really good so screw canon.

Pictured: Director and ex-Riker
Jonathan Frakes, un-slowing his roll.
That said, it's not perfect. I don't know if this is just how we make TV shows in the late twenty-teens or if this is the influence of the J. J. Abrams Beastie-Boys addled Star Trek movies, but the show makes excessive use of jump cuts and constantly moving camera pans that make it feel a little too, I don't know, what's the word? Red-Bull? Too Red-Bull for me for me sometimes. Like everyone behind the camera is just hopped up on caffeine sugar water and can't, I think the phrase is 'slow their roll' long enough for us to catch our breath. But these are minor qualms.

"Let them die!"
-Captain Kirk, no really
One and a half seasons in, Disco's been a worthy Trek show that does a great job backfilling canon without ruining any of the characters by say, turning them into whiney child-murders. I especially enjoyed the Klingon arc in season one which made the lumpy-headed space Vikings seem threatening again after being softened on TNG and DS9. Now the uncomfortable anti-Klingon space-racism in Star Trek VI is a little less out of the blue now that we know that the Klingons went nuts a few decades before and nearly conquered the shit out of the Federation.

Last time we saw her she was played by
Winona Ryder and fell off a cliff 20 minutes
in so in many ways this is an improvement.
And with season two, the Burnham/Spock family arc is coloring in some Trek lore in a fun way. We're seeing more of their parents and how their dynamic works and Amanda (Burnam and Spock's mother) finally gets some cool shit to do including some bad ass mother-cubbing involving hacking into classified files and harboring a fugitive. What's not to love? Sure, it's a little weird that we never heard about Spock's sister before now, but again, if it's interesting and adds richness to what we've seen before, what's the problem? Of course, then there's the Culber thing. Can we talk about the Culber thing? Let's talk about the Culber thing.

For those who don't recall or don't care about spoilers, I'll explain. Hugh Culber, played by Wilson Cruz was one of the ship's doctors in season one, and Paul Stamets' (Anthony Rapp) husband/partner (it's a little unclear). Cool, so finally, not one but two queer characters on a Star Trek show. Holy shit Star Trek, welcome to the twentieth century. But then, and this is the spoiler, Culber is randomly murdered by a Klingon sleeper agent. Booooo.
Which I suppose is a legitimate job hazard
on a Starship, but c'mon people...
Goddamnit Game of Thrones,
this is all your fault...
Then came the fan outcry. Not just because he was a likable character, in fact he had comparatively little screen time before him before getting his neck snapped. But because after more than five decades and six series of this supposedly progressive future there were finally queer characters on Star Trek and then 50% of them got unceremoniously killed off for shock value. But whatever, the backlash forced the writers to promise that Cruz would totally be coming back in season two and this was totally part of their plan all along. Swearsies.

And they were as good as their word as-further spoilers-Dr. Culber made a miraculous return a couple episodes ago...
...as a half-crazed, sub-space mushroom duplicate because Star Trek.
Pictured: That time Captain Janeway and
 Lt. Paris evolved into alligators and mated.
And that's great. I'm glad he's back on the show and am interested to see where they'll go with him and Stamets next. I feel like getting murdered can put a strain on a relationship. It's just that, well, even for Star Trek, Culber's resurrection was preposterous. Like, I'm not kidding with that caption. Somehow Stamets' tears transferred Culber's DNA into the mycelial network (basically the upside-down) and Culber was re-constituted as a clone or something. It was some omega-level nonsense, but it definitely wasn't the most cockamamie rubber science bullshit thing Trek has ever pulled. Not by a long shot.

But like I said, I'm glad to see they course-corrected their dumb-ass, 'get us: we're juts like Game of Thrones' move and brought Wilson Cruz back, no matter how bananas the explanation. More Tilly, Spock, and Klingons with hair. All in all, a really solid season two so far. I say so far, because who knows? They could do the alligator thing again.
Plus ten nerd points for putting hair on the Klingons again.
Minus fifteen for the top knot and neck beard on Ash Tyler. Like, I
know he murdered Culber, but this, this is the reason I dislike him.

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