Monday, March 18, 2019

The key phrase here is 'made up.'

You know what's probably not worth getting upset about? Or really even thinking too hard about? Whether or not a fictional wizard is gay.
Besides, all wizards are kinda gay, right?
Yeah, but what if Voldemort's mother
did have an abortion. Think about it.
I mention this because it's become an issue ever since J.K. Rowling offhandedly mentioned that Dumbledore, the Gandalf of the Harry Potter novels, is actually gay. Some people were angry, mostly because there are some people who just love being angry, but also because after years of denouncing the books as devil worship until they went hoarse with rage, they had to start all over again with a whole new thing. But then there were the other people who were initially pleased because hurray, representation, but then reality sets in and we remember that there was never any mention of Dumbledore's sexuality in the stories at any point so really is she just making things up now? I mean other than stories about wizards...

Anyway, thanks to the movie version of an in-universe guide book about magical animals-because holy shit, Rowling knows how to not leave a dime on the table-the issue of Dumbledore's sex life is getting another look. These films cover the period of Dumbledore's life in which he, according to Rowling, had a relationship with a male wizard. The scandal!
Does it help if I mention that Dumbledore is
played by Jude Law and not the late Richard Harris?
If we're being honest, I'm less interested
in it too now that I know Gindelwald
is played by Johnny 'Cue Cards' Depp.
In the extra features of the Blu-ray release of Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald-which, impossibly, is the title of a movie, Rowling gives an interview in which she says;

"Their relationship (Dumbledore and Grindelwald's) was incredibly intense. It was passionate, and it was a love relationship...I'm less interested in the sexual side-though I believe there is a sexual dimension to this relationship."

-J.K. Rowling, not interested 
in wizards doin' it

"Because again, they're magic
wizards. Whom I made up..."
-Rowling
Yup, she knows just how to poke the fans. So people are again loosing their shit on twitter which is awesome because this very fit was apparently also pitched last year when the movie initially came out. But at the risk of being kind of a dick, because I didn't see either of these movies and don't really give a shit, I'd like to solve this problem once and for all: J.K. Rowling, whatever you may think of her, wrote the original novels and is writing the five part (!) series based on the Fantastic Beasts guide book thing so Dumbledore is exactly as gay as she says he is. So maybe stop arguing with her about it?

Problem solved. But let's go back to the part where Rowling said she wasn't interested in the sexual side of Dumbledore's and Grindelwald's relationship. Cool. But she does seem to think her fans would be interested in a five part film saga about an imaginary magical Fodor's Guide. I don't know, is it me or is she missing a huge potential market here?
A series of romantic comedies set in the 20's? Starring wizards?
Gay wizards? How is this not a thing right now?




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