Sunday, August 6, 2017

Today in loose definitions of creativity...

Meow-chicka meow-wow*
You know what the best thing about the internet is? Huh? No it's not the cat videos. It's-no, it's not the porn, shame on you. The best thing about the-no, it's not cat porn. What is wrong with you? Look, are you going to let me get through this? Great. So the best thing about the internet is not the way it lets us keep in touch with people we don't like enough to call on a regular basis, or the fact that it gives us a forum for our ill-informed opinions faster than the speed of thinking things through. All of those things are bunk. The real achievement of the internet age is steaming video.

It's almost enough to make you want to go
outside. Almost. I mean, I could re-watch
The Crown. It's too sunny out anyway.
Yup, streaming video. If you're too young to really remember the days of cable, when people had to plan their lives around TV Gudide in order to catch a thing when it airs and then wait a full week between new episodes like goddamn barbarians, then stop reading this. For one thing, you're too young for all the casual swearing and references to cat porn. For another, you probably aren't as paralyzed by the bewildering array of choices. I think I've wasted almost as much time flipping though streaming service menus looking for something than I have actually wasting time watching things. 

But it's the endless possibilities that makes streaming so amazing. A streaming service isn't constrained by a schedule so there's room for anything. Even a follow-up to the Karate Kid. Yes, complete with Ralph Machio and William Zabka. You know, Johnny? As in 'sweep the leg, Johnny?' Remember him?
The Karate Kid taught us that no matter how hard you practice and how much work
you put into something, someone's probably going to come along at the last minute
with a couple months of training and kick your ass with one lucky move.
"Remember my student, in keeping with
the ancient art of brand recognition
you're the Karate Kid. Got that?"
I don't know about you, but ever since I saw that movie, I've been left wondering 'what happens next?' And then I saw Karate Kid parts II and III and The Next Karate Kid. I skipped the one with Jackie Chan and Jaden Smith on principle. I mean, the kid learns kung fu, which, and I'm not like a martial arts expert, but even I know is not karate. But more to the point, after all that, I was still left with a hole in my life. Where's Daniel-san now? What's he doing? And what about Johnny? I just don't understand how the writers could leave us hanging like this for decades. They're basically monsters.

No, it's not a porn site. You're thinking
of RedTube. Again, shame on you.
But hanging we shall no longer be, because YouTube Red-which I guess is just like regular YouTube except you can pay them to watch it-is making 'Cobra Kai,' a sequel series to The Karate Kid. It'll tell the story of Daniel Larusso and Johnny-uh, Johnny Sweepleggington, I guess, who are now I don't know, fifty something? Anyway, they're going to revive their karate rivalry and probably re-hash the story from the first movie. 

Creativity of course being the ability to
recognize something as successful, buy it and
then iterate upon it until it's no longer profitable.
I'm sorry, I'm pre-judging. I'm sure they're bringing back The Karate Kid because it's a rich narrative landscape that we've only begun to explore.

"The minute I heard about this project, I knew we had to have it. The Karate Kid became an instant classic in the 1980's, and still resonates with audience around the world and on YouTube today..."

-Susanne Daniels (right), head of original content 
for YouTube, saying things she cannot take back

Hopefully, Cobra Kai will lead to additional spin-offs and sequels and prequels as a part of a greater Karate Kid shared universe that will delve into all our unanswered questions about a Rocky knock-off from 33 years ago. Because if the internet has given us anything, it's a platform so limitless that anything, anything can and should be made into a streaming series.
I personally can't wait for someone to continue the story of 1988's Mac and Me.
It was a heart warming tale/McDonald's commercial about a boy's adventures
with an alien who is definitely not E.T. and absolutely warrants a follow-up


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