|"Bienvenue en France, Monsieur le president...zat loud |
crunching sound? No, I have no idea what zat could be..."
-Emmanuel Macron, subtly squeezing
the ever-living shit out of Trump's hand
|Above: Tout les|
But you also might recall that he's the progressive candidate who in a recent election defeated a conservative, nationalist opponent around whom swirled allegations of Russian-backed election interference. Sound familiar? Yes, because France is a country living in a wonderful parallel universe where the good guys won, health care is a right and everyone takes their wine and cheese like, super seriously.
|"What did we ever do to you?|
Wait, don't answer that..."
-Some French aristocrat
So it's a little weird to me that that Macron would invite Trump, an aristocratic goon who inherited his fortune and shows nothing but contempt for the poor, to hang out at a celebration of the French Revolution-a bloodier, head-choppier sequel to our own. And look, I went to public school so for me any historical narrative that wasn't presented in the form of a School House Rock video whenever the teacher needed a break is a little hazy, and I admit that I might be oversimplifying complex socio-political factors in order to draw a specious parallel to current events in America, but still...
I mean, I can't help but wonder if this isn't Macron's way of reminding Trump that you can only push people so far before starving and desperate, they rise up against the ermine-trimmed, be-powdered wig'd goons who thought themselves untouchable and start marching them to the head chopping machine. Oh, and did I mention that even has his own Versailles?
|Sorry, that's an unfair comparison.|
Mar a Lago doesn't let tourists in.
|"Ok, we're going to need you to turn around|
and get back on the plane until we conduct
some, uh extreme vetting...or whatever."