Tuesday, July 4, 2017

Let's un-Brexit!

Pictured: The Moon. It's basically our 51st
State and 2nd most barren after Arizona.
Happy Fourth of July everybody! Really, I mean that. We're doing great. 241 years into the great experiment and we abolished slavery and made everybody, well, sort of equal. If you squint and tilt your head...oh, and we single-handedly won World War II and the space race. We won the space race, didn't we? I mean, sure, Russia got into space first but we were first on the moon, so now we don't even need to go back. Anyway, it's been nothing but smooth sailing for America.

2016 was a good year for blond
men with terrible, terrible ideas.

Yup, we're in for another century of prestige and global influence. Oh, and just curious, how's Britain doing? Good? Still with what's its name? The European Union? No? You don't say? They dumped it? Why? They seemed so...oh, a referendum and a faction that used nationalism and fear to energize their base by blaming external forces for their problems? Wow, and the outcome was unexpected and one that not even the winners knew what to do with? We can relate. Do they ever, you know, mention us? The U.S. I mean?

What? No, I'm not saying we want to get back together, I mean, we're doing great on our side of the pond, one bad election doesn't mean we throw in the towel, but...do you think they'd be open to it? Like, would it be weird if we asked them out for coffee? Oh right, tea. They like tea. Just, hey, if you happen to talk to the U.K, maybe test the waters, you know?
"Well, well, come crawling back have we?"
-Queen Elizabeth, maybe
enjoying this a bit too much

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