|Wait, that doesn't sound right, but I guess there's no arguing with all caps...|
|"All agree that the only real crime is looking|
into the many crimes I may have committed."
-Trump, talking to us idiots
|It's not so much a legal|
team as it is a legal phalanx.
|Two professors enter, |
one professor leaves.
-Jay Sekulow launching into details about
that thing that's totally not on anybody's radar
"...and while it makes for interesting academic discussions, let me tell you what the legal team is not doing: we're not researching the issue because the issue of pardons is not on the table, there's nothing to pardon from."
|"...um, ok...so good morning and welcome to the show Mr. Sekulow..."|
-George Stephanopoulos, extracting
his head from Jay Sekulow's maw
|Pictured: President Trump touring the U.S.S.|
Gerald Ford on the same day he made his
pardon tweet. Not pictured: a sense of irony.
|"Please, your pernicious position|
on pardons is perfect poppycock..."
-Jay Sekulow, hitting
those comedy 'p's
|Incidentally, can we just stop doing|
that whole turkey thing all together?
I mean, what's wrong with us?
Look, I'm not a constitutional scholar or anything, and I get that Sekulow is the President's lawyer and would say that Donald Trump has goddamn superpowers if that'd shake the media scrutiny on this whole Russia thing, but for fuck's sake. I'm not suggesting that the President has done anything illegal, or at least anything we can prove, but are we really having a conversation about whether or not he has a crime-pass?
|Above: President Trump exercising his constitutional |
authority to command the creatures of the sea.