Monday, June 5, 2017

You don't suppose he's Putin us on?*

*sorry, but as I've indicated before, I'm not better than that.

Hey, you know who's never going to give you a straight answer as to whether or not he interfered with the U.S. election? Not even if you're Megyn Kelly? Give up?
I'll give you a hint, he's the former head of the KGB, an
organization devoted entirely to clandestine operations.
"Maybe your little girl hacked email, but did you
accuse her? No, you just blame old Vlad..."

-Putin, turning the tables
Because it's Vladimir Putin. And it turns out he's kind of a dick. When Kelley asked him about interfering in our election during some kind of forum thing on Friday and he just sort of sat in his chair smirking while she explained that there's like, a shit ton of evidence pointing to Russia. And when she was finished, he launched into a rant about how easy it is to create fake IP addresses and how even Kelly's three year old daughter could have hacked the election and 'pfft' we don't have any proof it was Russia anyway and maybe American hackers framed Russia, ever think of that?

"This just in, Hillary Clinton hunts puppies
for sport, so maybe stay home on Tuesday."
So again, what a dick. But also did Kelly think he was going to crack here? Like, he's famous for being a strong in the unchallenged ruler of 144 million Russians, not like a physically strong man. He's not going to admit masterminding the DNC hacking, bullshit Facebook posts, and the thinly veiled pro-Moscow RT news stories as part of a petty revenge scheme against Hillary Clinton for calling him out on irregularities in the 2011 Russian parliamentary elections.  

And then he called Megyn Kelly out on America's moralizing hypocrisy-which, yeah ok he sort of has us there. Specifically he was referring to times in the past when American intelligence operatives might have...shall we say massaged elections in other countries? And not just once, but like, lots of times in some cases helping autocratic murdering shitheads overthrow democratically elected leaders?
Pictured: Noted murdering shithead Augusto Pinochet,
seen here cosplaying M. Bison, murdered some 3,000
political enemies and tortured tens of thousand more.
"...yes, I suppose our computer god is
vulnerable to phaser-fire, why do you ask?"
Ok, so we don't have any room to talk when it comes to free and democratic elections, like at all, and it's a serious problem that we're not more outraged about it which I think has a lot to do with Captain Kirk. Go with me on this: Starfleet has the Prime Directive, right? It's an inviolable rule that says you don't interfere with alien planets, which Captain Kirk does anytime he doesn't agree with a primitive species being ruled by a machine god, or gangsters or whatever. And he's the hero. We root for the guy breaking the highest law, because that's what badasses do and laws are dumb.

I don't care what we, as a country
have done, no one deserves this.
Great, cool, but this is real life and our super-shady past with election interference doesn't mean we have to be cool with the doughy ex-head of the KGB screwing with ours. I can't speak for everyone, but I'm thinking that something 99.9% of Americans have never tampered in a foreign election, so yeah, I do think we have a right to be outraged when it happens to us. Again, not a right to the high ground, but a right to be pissed.

Gross hypocrisy aside, this is still about investigating collusion between a game show host and a foreign, sometimes adversarial government and we deserve some answers. What we don't need is to be lectured to by the smarmy, Crimea-annexing homophobic former spymaster who got where he is today through intimidation and making his enemies disappear.
You heard me. 

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