|Pictured: The University of Texas at Austin's football team, the Texas Longhorns,|
firing Smokey the Cannon, a replica Civil War-era cannon. I would have thought that using
a cannon at a football game would be cheating, but then I don't know much about sports.
|A statue commemorating Eberly skipping|
the petition step and moving right on to setting
off a Howitzer to make your voice heard.
Oh, and if Don Huffines' name sounds familiar to you, it might be because he was kind of a dick a few months back when he laid into a kid over school vouchers. The student suggested that vouchers, which Huffines supports, would just subsidize rich kids going to private schools, but would do jack shit to help low-income students. Huffines' responded with "You want to give them a full tuition? That is the most selfish thing I've ever heard." Which, wait, he knows what selfish, means, right?
|"My tone may have been regrettable, but if poor kids attend exclusive schools|
and break the cycle of poverty, who will fill the menial, tedious jobs of the future?"
man of the people
|Above: that time in Texas's long, colorful|
history when they seceded and fought
for the pro-slavery Confederacy...
"Whereas throughout the long and colorful history of Texas the cannon has been an important weapon in the states fight for liberty and independence as well as a symbol of the defiance and determination of its people..."
-Don Huffines, on how cannons
are totally neat and stuff
|Huh, you know, I've only driven through|
Nebraska, but yeah, I can see that...
|Above: raising a Bowie Knife monument|
in Bowie, Texas. No, I wish I was kidding.
|"This really is a proud day, for all of us."|
That said, Pennsylvania is considering making the chocolate chip cookie the official cookie of Pennsylvania despite the existence of and objective superiority of oatmeal cookies. So if you live in the Keystone State, please, please write your representatives. It'll help make up for the way you guys voted in the '16 election. Note I said: 'help.'
|Come on Pennsylvania, don't let us down again.|