"You shall have my sword."
"And you shall have my axe."
Yes, I get that these are two very different candidates, with very different followings but I swear to god if we lose this one because supporters of whichever one doesn't get the nomination stay home and sulk, we should we just give up on democracy entirely and bring back the monarchy.
|"Well, well, well. Come crawling back have we?"|
-Queen Elizabeth II, being too
classy to say we told you so
|"It's cool, I'm just checking. You can|
prove you were born with that, right?"
They're misogynistic, anti-Muslim, anti-choice, anti-immigration, anti-gay, anti-poor, anti-science, am I missing anything?
|"We're not anti-science, we just believe that dinosaurs led |
sinful lives and were therefore not allowed on Noah's ark."
-Ken Ham, scien...scieeentii....
sorry, I can't even type it.
|Remember this bullshit when you|
go to the polls in November.
|Above: The Party of Lincoln,|
I suppose. Like, technically.
Remember that scene in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire when the Death Eaters show up at the Quidditch World Cup? Of course you do, because you're a big huge nerd. Anyway, like eight Death Eaters show up and terrorize like 80,000 wizards, each of whom has a wand and unbelievable, god-like magical powers and yet not one of them has the wherewithal to calculate the odds and shout 'Hey everybody, let's get'em!' That's the GOP right now.
|Pictured: The predicament the Republican Party finds itself in.|