Unbeliefable!

Above: are you goddamn kidding me?

So I swear that I'm almost done harping on this Indiana Religious Freedom Restoration Act horseshit. Like, I get that it's all but played out, and has been more or less relented on but for real, $842,592. Yes, I just said $842,592. Why did I just say $842,592? Oh, because that's how much how much money's been raised for the owner of a pizza shop in Walkerton, Indiana because she told the local news station:

Pictured: Indiana's richest idiot.

"If a gay couple was to come in like say we wanted-they wanted us to provide them pizzas for a wedding, um, we would have to say no...we're not discriminating against anyone. It's just that's our belief. Everyone has a right to believe anything."

-Crystal O'Connor, owner of Memories pizza, 

as well as a fuzzy definition 

of the word discrimination

"According to my faith, traditional pizza
is between a man and a woman."

I'm not, as you know, a biblical scholar, but nowhere, nowhere in the Bible does it say that Christians aren't allowed cater gay weddings. Nowhere. It says a lot of batty things, but not that. So while her personal belief may be that gay couples should be denied the sacrament of pizza, it's not a religious belief, it's just her being shitty. Anyway, she said this and some asshole threatened to burn her business down. In response, a GoFundme campaign was started to raise money "To relieve the financial loss endured by the proprietor's stand for faith."

"What? No, Jesus was't talking about an acutal
camel...uh, he meant, uh, mumble...mumble..."

-Christians with money

Ca-goddamn-ching. Way to go Twitter-user Jess Dooley, now O'Connor isn't just some homophobic business owner we could simply boycott when it comes time to order our traditional gay wedding pizza, she's a woman of conviction who took a stand for faith. And now she's eight-hundred thousand dollars richer. Hey, speaking of which, if she's serious about the whole religion thing, she has to give it all away, right? I certainly don't want to tell Crystal what to do with her threat-money, but while Jesus never said anything about gay people, he was very clear about rich people and how he's not so much a fan. 

Anyway, while Crystal O'Connor is kind of a horrible person for what she said and Jess Dooley is a kind of a psycho for threatening her, I'm going to go ahead and blame irresponsible journalism for this one. You see, no actual discrimination had even taken place yet. O'Connor never refused service to a gay couple, she just said she would. Here, check out this chyron from the ABC57 news story. Notice anything not true at all?

No. They plan to, but they haven't yet.

So why the shit was this a story in the first place? The answer is, of course, it's Indiana and there is absolutely nothing else going on. The local ABC affiliate just went around asking people how they felt about the RFRA and what she said was 'if a gay couple was to come in' she'd refuse service...you know, for Jesus. Of course her position doesn't make any sense, of course she's an ignorant jerk for saying she wouldn't cater a gay wedding, but holy shit, there was no story until ABC57 News came along. 

Above: the three reporters it took to report on something that
never even happened because journalism is alive in America.