|"Maybe I should get a cat..."|
-Humans, going down a dark path
But wait, isn't that what SETI has been doing all along? Weeeell...not so much. Up until now, they've just been listening to space and hoping that some alien radio signal from a distant star will happen to pass by Earth, which now that I think about it, sounds like a colossal waste of time.
|"What do you mean 'waste of time?' How many stars |
can there possibly be? A hundred? Two hundred?"
|"Greetings Earth-being, did you know you|
could save 15% or more on your car insurance?"
Anyway, I say it's about time we, as a species, put ourselves out there a little. You know, get on the interstellar equivalent of OKCupid and get proactive. After all, we're never going to meet anybody just hanging out at home, watching Netflix and accumulating more cats.
|Look, I'm not trying to rag on cat owners, it's just|
that I don't want the human race to end up like this guy...
|Above: The bleak, post-apocalyptic future|
predicted by Brin in which Kevin Costner
delivers hope...and also the mail.
Ok, so to sum up Brin's and Hawking's point, contact between aliens and humans will result in our extinction in much the same way that the musket-toting European explorers of the 15th century nearly wiped out the indigenous peoples of North America. When high-tech meets low-tech, high-tech wins. Ipso barada facto, right?
|Or in nerd terms, it's sort of like what would happen if Starfleet and the Empire ever went at it.|
Phaser, wide-beam: so long Stormtroopers. There, I said it. Star Trek wins. Don't agree? Bring it!
|I say gold and converts, but really,|
it was all about the doubloons...
Sure, the Spanish had fancy boats capable of crossing the ocean, but it's not like the Native Americans were dumbfounded by how they worked, I mean, they knew what a boat was. Aliens on the other hand would need warp drive or Stargates or something to actually come here and that's like way beyond our science.
|"Your ships float? On water? My goodness, you pasty, |
fowl-smelling religious zealots must surely be wizards."
-The Chief of the Lucayan, demonstrating his people's
advanced knowledge of sarcasm to the Europeans
|Why waste the photon torpedoes when they |
can open one of those creepy kiosks at the mall?
So that leaves us with religious conversion, and while I suppose it's possible that aliens might one day beam down, knock on our doors and try to shove an Interlac edition of The Watchtower into our hands, that's no reason to just sit here on a Saturday night, petting our many cats while the universe passes us by. Besides, we're not getting any younger...
|"Puny hew-mons! Prepare to welcome|
Space Jesus into your hearts!"