The Princess is never in the first castle...

Hey! Listen! Nintendo has apologized for that whole 'no gay couples in Tomodachi life' thing and the subsequent 'ham-fisted and slightly offensive apology for the whole no gay couples in Tomodachi life thing.' Cool, right?

We're still waiting on an apology for the Power Glove.
I mean the goddamn thing never worked. Like, ever.

"We put our best PR people on this one.
It actually means less every time you read it."

-Nintendo President Satoru Iwata

Here, check it out. I think you'll find it full of the vague language and noncommittal statements we've come to expect from corporate apologies:

"We pledge that if we create a next installment in the 'Tomodachi' series, we will strive to design a game-play experience from the ground up that is more inclusive, and better represents all players."

So if there's a sequel, then they'll promise to pledge to strive to...uh, wait, what were we talking about?

Zombies? No prob. Gay people?
You might as well ask for a holodeck.

Unfortunately for fans of Nintendo and pretend gay relationships, it looks like it's too late for Tomodachi 1 to add a same-sex relationship option. The company explained that such a major change to the game would be too big for downloadable content or a patch, but I'm not sure I buy that. Developers add stuff through DLC all the time. Rockstar released an expansion for Red Dead Redemption that added zombies, but somehow gays in Tomodachi Life are beyond Nintedo's technological grasp? Seriously?

But hey, it's a start. The Princess is never in the first castle, right? Anyway, congratulations to Tye Marini and his social media campaign. He's shown us all that there are ways to fight inequality that don't involve stabbing things three times in the big glowing eye.

But stabbing things in the eye is all Link's good at...