Sex Box: it's bigger on the inside.

You know, like the TARDIS? From Doctor Who? No? Fine, anyway, the BBC is producing a new show called Sex Box and the premise is that a live studio audience in going to watch a couple have sex and then they'll all sit around and talk about it, probably over a cup of tea.

Seriously, British people cannot get enough tea.
It's like us with the assault rifles.

Where do you think that kid came from?
Yup, British people doin' it, probably
in a box. A sex box. 

Now before you get all outraged by England's depraved, hedonistic ways and start 'well I never-ing'  I should mention that the sexy time will be happening in an enclosed, opaque box on the set. Wai-wah? Yeah, the audience is going to sit patiently while the couple gets it on in the titular (settle down) and opaque Sex Box. I'm not sure then what the Sex Box accomplishes, I mean, the couple might as well be in a motel down the street, but I think there's room on television for more adult conversations about sex.

Of course this does raise the question of what the hosts will be doing to fill the time while their guests are having box-sex. My vote is for everyone to run around in circles to that music from the Benny Hill Show.

Pictured: What studio audiences will be staring at for 10-40 minutes.
Not pictured: awkward jokes about wining the Sex Box home version.

It turns out that sometimes
the pizza guy really is
just there to deliver pizza.

Despite the lack of explicit sex-nanigans, people are already freaking out about the show. Some think it's a shameless attempt to grab ratings while others think it's a shameless ratings grab. Of course, they're both right, but then putting anything on television is an attempt to get people to watch, so I don't see what the problem is. The producers are hoping to 'reclaim sex' from the distorted way it's presented in porn and in the media and that's valid. I mean there're entire generations growing up thinking that sex only happens in green-hued night vision on reality shows. Sure, the Sex Box itself is a gimmick, but then the point of the show is the post-scrumping discussion so I don't see what the big deal is. Ever stayed in a Marriot? Depending on what floor you're on there's a decent chance that you are surround on both sides as well as above and below by people screwing. At least Sex Box is sound proof.

Unsurprisingly, Americans are already uncomfortable. Here, watch this clip from Good Morning America. Host Lara Spencer can't bring herself to introduce the segment without tittering uncomfortably like a fifth-grader watching the So you're going through puberty... video in sex ed. They even called the segment 'Going too far?' so viewers at home wouldn't think for a moment that ABC approves of people having the sex. Holy shit, do we need Sex Box USA.

Sex in front of a live studio audience! Going too far!
TV show features intimate moments! Hey guys, I think
you forgot to mention the donkey show...