Let's stare at the Sun!*

Hey everybody, today is Annular Eclipse Day! The day when our puny natural satellite will leap in front of the Sun because it's probably feeling under appreciated. I mean, when was the last time we visited?

Stupid Moon, thinks it's so great...

I'm not naming names,
just 'some states.'

Anyway, it's called an 'annular' eclipse because annular is Latin for 'ring' and scientists like to sound smart. The 'ring' here refers to the fact that the Moon will only obscure at most 88% of the Sun leaving a flaming ring of fire, sort of like the Heroes DVD cover. To most of the world, this phenomenon is just the result of the Moon's orbit, but in some states the event may also be attributed to a serpent swallowing the Sun and will be followed by the Rapture and the Reign of the Beast for a period of seven years.

As you know, astrophysics (the science of things moving around up there), like evolution, is just a theory and is probably just part of a liberal agenda designed to mislead children into drugs and gayness.

If kids don't learn about the seven-headed Anti-Christ Leopard Monster
in school, they're just going to pick it up on the streets.

*Ok, but don't...

The Sun is at least as bright as your
standard ecto-containment unit
so exercise all due caution.

Important safety tip: If you plan to gaze in wonder at this terrifying sky-hole, keep in mind that it can and will sear your optic nerve and leave you blind for life. To combat this remember to grab some Number 14 welder's goggles (12's aren't dense enough) from your local welding supply store or just throw an alpha filter on your camera. Alternatively you can fashion a crude eclipse-viewer out of a shoe box. You poke a hole in it or something. I don't know, I've never made one and you'd probably look like an idiot staring at the sky through a Sketchers box, but hey, knock yourself out.