Deploy the Corpse-Sheild!

I hope he read that label, he could have a
fork-full of the second Darrin from Bewitched. 

The egregiously* named SpaceX® rocket launched today carrying supplies, food and the cremated remains of 308 people sealed in what I pray to god are clearly marked canisters. Among the cremains (yeah, I'm afraid that's the real term), are those of actor James Doohan (the guy who played Scotty on the original Star Trek). Interestingly, it's not the first time they've tried to return James Doohan to the gravitationally curved path around the Earth from which we all came. What? I find it interesting...

Did anyone ever question the
wisdom of putting the drunkest crew-
member in charge of the anti-matter?

Anyway, back in 2008, his and 200 other's ashes were launched but the unmanned rocket failed and plummeted back to New Mexico. I guess it dinna have the power (sorry, I was physically unable to stop myself from typing that, and as you know, you kenna change the laws of physics [again, sorry]). Undeterred (and under contract), Celestis (the space burial company) recovered the canisters and tried again and now Doohan's ashes will hang out there for a year before burning up on reentry.

The sad part is the only person really
talking about space is this guy, and he
just want to drill for space oil or something.

And while it's totally cool that we're sending Scotty into orbit, there's something kinda lame about the fact that this is what we do with rockets now. I mean, we used to boldly go play golf on the lunar surface and tool around on the ISS but now our interest in space has devolved into space tourism for the super-rich, making parts runs and cluttering near-Earth orbit with our famous dead people. I suppose eventually this could come in handy if aliens ever invade as they'll probably be unable to penetrate our cremain-barrier, but that's not super-likely.

"My lord, our attack has been repelled. The Earthpeople have surrounded their
world with an impregnable wall of cremated celebrities."
"Those cunning bastards!"

Above: Brad X-Treamington,
President and CEO of SpaceX.

*For real, SpaceX? Space. X. Ok, look, spaceships are supposed to have awesome names like Millennium Falcon and Heart of Gold. SpaceX should be something you use to treat space herpes. Although I guess there is something appropriate about the cold, focus group-tested ring it has given how the company is more about brand synergy and less out slipping the surly bonds and touching the face of whatever.