Thanks to Obama, people like Ricketts can only afford one baseball team. |
A bit of the trimmer indeed... |
Here's an excerpt:
"The metrosexual black Abe Lincoln has emerged as a hyper-partisan, hyper-liberal, elitist politician with more than a bit of the trimmer in him."
-Actual quote, no, for real, it says that.
What the hell does any of that mean? I have no idea, but you can try to make sense of it if you want. The plan is like 54 pages long, but is padded with large font and extra spaces (I pulled the same scam in high school English) so it's a pretty fast read.
It didn't work in 10th grade and it doesn't work now. |
Above: Rev. Wright, possibly making some sort of anti-American gang sign. |
The centerpiece of the campaign would be a movie with super slick Hollywood production values like a chick hatching from an egg and some disappointed-looking actors shaking their heads and saying things like: 'What was he thinking' and 'That's HIS debt.'
"I thought Obama was going to fly around the Earth at super-speeds and reverse time so that 9/11 never happened. But he didn't. Thanks Obama, thanks for nothing."
-Disappointed American
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"OMG, Amber won Beiber tickets? Psscht, I guess even a blind hog finds an acorn."
-Teens
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But the coup de grace? The film would be narrated by Jon Voigt, so basically the President doesn't have a chance. I mean, Voigt stared in Anaconda.
Sure, liberals have Angelina Jolie, but the right has her crazy, leather-faced father. Suck on that Hollywood elite! |
"Racists? No, we just don't want our spokes- token bursting out into some sort of rap."
-Fred Davis CEO, Strategic Perceptions Inc.
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Look, I'm not saying that these guys are racists (although they probably are) I'm only suggesting that maybe they don't realize how racist they are.
Above: My proposed strategy for the DNC. It's based entirely on that time Mitt Romney put his arms around some black people and started singing who let the dogs out. What? If it wasn't racist he's got nothing to worry about. |
Ok, I'm still stuck on this...
I guess they figured Gaybraham Blancoln: Puppy Hunter would be going a little too far. |
What the shit is up with Metrosexual black Abe Lincoln? I mean, everyone (almost everyone) loves Abraham Lincoln, so comparing President Obama to him would be like a good thing, right? But this is an attack ad and they're calling him a 'black Abe Lincoln.' So it sounds like this totally not racist proposal is trying very hard to remind us of how not white the President is. And what's the deal with metrosexual? Are they saying Obama dresses well? Or do you suppose they're trying to appeal to ignorant people who think metrosexual means gay somehow? God, these guys suck.
you still rippin on john knowles??? i'll break ya off a separate piece....
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