Today in doin' some reps for the Lord:

"You're welcome."

-the AI, not noticing that

I never said thank you

Huh? Why yes, I did start going to the gym. You can tell because I try to work it into all conversations now. You know who else noticed? The Algorithm. At least, I think it noticed. I'm starting to think it's just trolling me with Christian gym wear, because that's what's been showing up in my social media feed ads. It's made by a company called SAVD, which is a silly, unpronounceable name, but trademark-able I guess. Anyway, couple questions: First, look, I'm not particularly religious, but are there rules about what Christians are supposed to wear to the gym? 

"Playing a little fast and loose with
the definition of abomination, are we?"

-God's secretary

I know there's a thing about special garments in Mormonism that they're kind of touchy about it, but generic Christians? I suppose there's that bit in Leviticus about not wearing clothes made of two different kinds of fabric, because it's an abomination. But I checked, and a lot the items on their site are a polyester/spandex blend. On the other hand, Leviticus calls a lot of things abominations. And the typical American evangelical Christian seems pretty fine with ignoring the rules for a good shrimp cocktail, but weirdly strict when it comes to telling others who they can and can't marry. 

"Like most, I first heard the word of 
by reading it off someone's shorts."

Secondly, the apparel--apparel with a mission, the company's slogan proclaims--generally appears to be regular old sports gear, but with Bible quotes, and Christian graphics on them, often subtle or hidden. You might not even notice how Jesus-y the stuff is at first glance, like it's a secret of something. For example, in the case of the Joshua 1:9 Lion Performance Shorts, you have to lift the right leg of the short to revel the quote, and the left for the lion. Which on the one hand actually seems pretty on brand. For the Lord, I mean. 

Above: an unrelated picture of some guy
covered in Christian nationalist tattoos.

My recollection of Sunday school is dim, but I do remember the bit the pastor kind of glossed over about how Jesus told every one not to be a big old religious show off. First century Judea, like twenty-first century America, had a huge sanctimonious hypocrite problem. You know the type, they make a huge deal about how super Christian they are and then proceed to act like a bunch of hate-filled goons. I don't know, you can look it up yourself if you like. I think it's somewhere around Mathew 6:1. Huh? How'd I know that? Oh, thanks for asking. I probably read it off someone's activewear.

I suppose what I'm getting at is that I suppose I don't have a problem with SAVD, or their weird, religiously dubious Jesus merch. I don't. What I am curious about is the recent shift in the algorithm. Why does it think this is what I'm interested in? Is it that the software that targets ads is just inept? Or--and allow me to quickly fashion some tin foil headwear--is Mark Zuckerberg pushing this stuff on us in an attempt to please his personal Lord and Savior? 

"Good work, very nice work. I shall make my countenance to shine
upon thee. So much shining countenance, thou won't even believe."

-So sayeth the former host of the Apprentice.