There may be no bottom.

Tesla Presents: President Donald ™, is hoping to sell corporate sponsorship of the eggs at the White House Easter Egg Roll, thus ruining the second dumbest White House tradition behind the turkey pardon. This according to a document CNN got ahold of. No word yet on whether or not Pete Hegseth texted it to them, but I mean, probably, amiright?

The expression on this nightmare-fuel of an
Easter Bunny, is how we're all feeling these days.

"Don't ask stupid questions."

-Religion

The event, which joins the economy, our standing abroad, and the rule of law on the list of "gone but not forgotten," has been a tradition--for some reason--since the 19th century. It involves children, selected by lottery, pushing decorated eggs towards a finish line. Why eggs? Why roll them? I suppose it recalls the famous story from the Bible in which the giant, brightly colored egg the Romans used to seal Jesus's tomb was miraculously rolled away.

Didn't he run on making eggs cheaper?

Anyway, for between $75,000 and $200, 000...yes, that's seventy-five and two-hundred thousand dollars of money you or more accurately, your corporation can endear itself to the glorious regime by having your logo or slogan stamped on an Easter Egg, or some branded swag. You could even get an invitation to a brunch hosted by Melania Trump. Is any of this legal? Almost certainly not. But the Trump administration has always had a, shall we say, flexible relationship with legality. So shut up? I guess?

Preferably a Swiss one.

Speaking of, you're probably wondering where the proceeds from this would go. I know I am. And the answer is The White House Historical Association: a non-profit, and non-partisan organization dedicated to preserving the history of the White House. Yessiree, that money will definitely not end up in the hands of the administration. If there's one thing this President is famous for it's respecting the law, especially when it comes to money, and the office of the President. And you can take that to the bank. 

Just to be clear, I don't really care about the Easter Egg Roll. I don't wish it any ill, the kids probably have a good time, and that isn't changing (yet). But now they'll be rolling eggs emblazoned with Amazon.com and Budweiser or whatever, and that just offends me. This idea that everything, everything can and should be monetized, is offensive. It's just another new low to which the office has sunk since "Crazy Donny's Low Low Prices on Teslas" ad from a couple of weeks ago. It's a new low, but not, I suspect, the bottom. There is no bottom.

"With prices this low, you'll think he's a stable genius!"