Ops-Core SpartaTactical Wolf Alpha Force

Above: cosplay but for fascists

You've oft heard me complain about the algorithm on the Face Books pushing ads at me that were either socks with pictures of my pets on them, ceramic nativity scenes featuring cats, or help for porn addition (spoiler alert, the solution is Jesus). How amusing. But in the last few days I've notice a sharp uptick--that is, none of these to like, fifty of these--ads apparently aimed at the type of MAGA-hat wearing Alpha douche that have basically ruined everything for everyone. And I can't help but feel, you know, a little misunderstood. I mean, what about my interaction with the internet suggested that I'd be interested in body armor, tactical gear, or anything camouflage for that matter?

And yes, before you tell me I could and should just get off the platform, I know. I know. I'm only clinging to it for the couple of friends I'd otherwise loose contact with, and yes, I know how that sounds. It's like I'm being held hostage by some billionaire weasel with a nine-hundred thousand dollar watch.

Pictured: some billionaire weasel wearing a watch
that costs the equivalent of thirteen teachers' annual salaries.

Pictured: the large brush
with which I am about to paint.

Anyway, I've started reporting the ads and that seems to have helped. Or at least, when I checked today, the ads seem to have gone away, at least for now. I suspect that it just shifts whatever demographic data put me on the list of paranoid neck-bearded basement dwellers, but that's pure speculation on my part. There's an option to see why the ad was suggested, but the only points of data that showed me was that I was a forty something male, which is rude, but not, I have to admit, inaccurate. I'd hate to paint everyone with so large a brush, but if ten people are asked to describe the kind of person who shops at stores with names like Ops-Core or Spartan Armor Systems, and I'm willing to bet that a sketch artist would produce ten, really similar pictures. That is to say, ten pictures of white dudes.

Oh look, a flash sale at--wait,
Wolf Tactical? Wolf. Tactical.
Holy shit you guys, seriously?

Sure, their actual customer base are more likely than I, statistically speaking, to have a beard and tattoos that say things like 1776 or don't tread on me, but frustratingly, on that point alone, I am their target demo. But given the number of posts I've liked about Buttigieg, or AOC ripping into some Republican asshat, I'd have thought it would know me a little better than this. Say, you don't suppose this is Mark Zuckerberg's way of trying to bring back masculine energy or whatever nonsense he spouted back when he removed fact-checking from Facebook? So, is the goal here to flood our feeds with so much thinly veiled right-wing propaganda dressed up in what it means to be a real man gender politics that we'll get behind mass deportations and mandatory prayer in schools? 

Because if that's the case, I would remind him that we're not that dumb and how quickly everyone turned on Elon when he cozied up to the former star of The Apprentice. My point is that right now they're setting Tesla dealerships on fire. On fire. 

If you ever needed evidence that capitalism
isn't a meritocracy, but instead a deeply flawed
system ripe for the toppling, I offer you this gif.