Today in America's Golden Age:

Absolutely not. No. In no way shape or form and also, no. What even am I talking about? Why Claudia Tenney's proposal that we make Trump's birthday a Federal holiday. Obviously, there is a lot wrong with this idea, and it's almost certainly just about the attention, but let's take the bait anyway, shall we?

I hope you sent out those cards! By UPS, Fed Ex or some other private
delivery service of course, as the Postal Service is a wasteful cesspool of socialism.

Pictured: the president making out with
Old Glory...whihc is both gross and almost
certainly against the U.S. Flag Code.

First of all, Trump's birthday happens to fall on Flag Day which Tenney is aware of and evidently sees as not only not a problem, but providence. Now, am I ascribing an almost religious zealousness to the congresswoman's idea because I view all Trump fans as belonging to some kind of bizarre cult of personality centered around a convicted felon who's done nothing but fail his way up all the way to the top of American politics and who's only avoided jail through cowardice on the part of those charged with holding him accountable?

Yes, but also check out some excerpts from her press release:

Yikes, is he holding her pets hostage?
Blink twice if your in danger, Claudia...
 

"No modern president has been more pivotal for our country than Donald J. Trump. As both our 45th and 47th President, he is the most consequential President in modern American history, leading out country at a time of great international and domestic turmoil...Just as George Washington's Birthday is codified as a federal holiday, this bill will add Trump's Birthday to the list, recognizing him as the founder of America's New Golden Age."

-Representative Claudia Tenney 

gushing about about a convicted felon

Honestly, I'd rather give COVID
a Federal Holiday.

So, couple of things, consequential doesn't necessarily mean good. Hurricanes are consequential. COVID was consequential. Speaking of, was his botched handling of that crisis the beginning of our Golden Age? Or was it that time he sicced a mob of insurrectionists on the capital and waited to see how things would shake out? Or is she referring to the last four weeks in which he let an unaccountable billionaire and some incel tech bros dismantle government agencies and access America's private information? 

What I'm saying is that rational people
builds golden idols out of real estate moguls.

In either case, his first swing at the Oval Office is generally regarded as the worst in history by anyone above a third grade reading level, and his second has only just begun and is beset by scores of lawsuits because pretty much every single sweeping policy change he's tried to executive order into being is against the goddamn law. So I'm left to draw the conclusion that this isn't about him being a good president, but instead about Tenney's weird Trump obsession. And that's what it is, an obsession. And one I'll thank her not to drag the rest of us along for.

She went on to say: "By designating Trump's Birthday and Flag Day as a federal holiday, we can ensure President's Trump's contributions to American greatness and the importance of the American Flag are forever enshrined into law,"  Which, look, I know this is just more MAGA noise designed to distract us while they undermine and pillage the institutions on which we rely, but seriously, these folks need to dial back the Trump worship. It's creepy.  

"Who needs the basic government services and benefits we've been paying into
for years when we can bask in the love of the "grab'em by the pussy" guy?"

-A typical American family, shortly before 

succumbing to a preventable disease