What's uh...what's the plan here?

I guess if anyone knows fraud it's the
guy who founded Trump University.

"It'll be the greatest rigged election in history. It will be the greatest fraud ever perpetrated..."

-Donald Trump, on the 2020 election

And he's right, just not in the way that I think he thinks he is. He's referring here to mail-in voting which he is baselessly insisting is prone to fraud and the last thing anyone here wants is someone in the Oval Office who didn't win the popular vote, amiright? Because that would be disastrous.

Basically. 

Anyway, he went on:

"...other than perhaps what they did to my campaign, when they spied on my campaign President Obama, Biden and everybody else. And they got caught, let's see what happens."

-Trump, having some

kind of episode?

Nothing. Nothing will happen. Wanna know why?

As is often the case, the
original film was much better.

Because legally speaking, you can't prosecute people for things they did in a dream you had. I once had a dream where I went to see a remake of the 1986 sci-fi comedy Short Circuit. In this version Ellen DeGeneres played the Ally Sheedy role and instead of being a cute robot, Johnny-5 was a quantum computer made out of rope lights and peanut butter. No, really. And I bring this up to illustrate the twin points that dreams are weird and that you shouldn't tell people about them. 

"Yeah, well, poor people,
 so not like, nice homes."

-An impossible goon

Especially when you posses the nuclear codes. It puts people on edge. And we're already all on edge. We're like in month six of the pandemic, police are beating and teargassing people for protesting how police are beating and teargassing people and this impossible goon is behind in the polls so he's holding up relief funds because they come attached to money for the post office so that people don't have to risk catching COVID just to vote him out of office. Yeah, people may loose their homes because this guy wants to steal an election.

I guess what I'm getting at here is what is the Administration's end game? Like, we're a country that has riots when our home team wins a Super Bowl and that's when we're not all one Netflix outage away from pitchforks and torches. Does he honestly think that if on Election Day we find that millions of our mail-in ballots just don't get counted that we're going to be cool with another four years of angry tweets and rambling press conferences about how Obama secretly reads his diary or whatever? Because we won't be.

Sure hope that bunker is comfortable.