Monday, August 17, 2020

Today in mounting anxieties:

Yeah, but without the electoral college,
Democrats would win just because they
get more votes, and how is that fair?
How...who are they even allowed to get away with...? Huh? Who? What? I'm glad I pretended you asked, I'm talking of course about the new paralyzing anxiety we now have in our lives: the dread that even if enough of us vote Biden/Harris to overcome the bullshit that is the electoral college, that it still won't be enough to overcome the blatant election fraud that is the President's appointed Post Master General removing mail boxes and sorting machines just before an election in which most Americans will be voting by mail.

"See? This is way easier on postal workers-
also, we're taking away their overtime."
-The USPS
According to a spokesperson, the USPS:

"...does routinely move equipment around its network as necessary to match changing mail and package volumes. Package volume is up, but mail volume continues to decline. Adapting our process infrastructure to the current volumes will ensure more efficient, cost effective operations and better service for our customers."

-Some spokesperson, 
assuming we're all idiots

Cool, so when there's less mail, they "routinely" dismantle and remove the sorting machines. You know, like moving a food truck to a different corner where there's more business. It's for us, the customer, and this whole "rigging the election" thing is just a big misunderstanding.
Pictured: one of those machines the USPS just routinely shuffles
around to be more efficient. I'm sure it folds. Probably has a handle.
"Gentleman, I propose that the Presidency go
to whosoever most expertly games the system."
-Some Founding Father
Oh, incidentally, the Postal service did send out letters warning states that ballots may not make it in on time, even if mailed by state deadline. Which, ok, hang on a sec, because I'm having trouble with-just...just to sum up, this means that they're saying to us:  due to the declining volume of mail, we're scaling back operations, but be advised, but to the impending increase in mail volume, expect not only delays in mail, but the re-election of the floundering incumbent who put a campaign donor in charge of the Postal Service.

"People who vote for Joe Biden just want
to destroy America, so what's the problem?"
-Some goon
Anyway, the USPS has magnanimously agreed to stop removing anymore machines and mailboxes until after Donald Trump is re-elected by the people whose ballots get counted, but they're not saying that they'll be putting back the ones they already took and in fact, a lot of those have been scrapped. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi is calling Congress back in to session early to hold some votes on some legislation to try and fix this, so that's something, right? Right?

Oh, and they're also going to hold hearings and have called in Trump campaign donor, and because our system is broken, Postmaster General Louis De Joy to explain himself. I'm sure he'll help us get to the bottom of this.
So the fate of American Democracy hangs on a Trump appointee
not only showing up to a Congressional hearing but also truthfully
answering questions posed by Democrats? Holy shit, it's over isn't it?

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