What I wouldn't give for a Visigoth right now.

We can all do math, and since we know that conviction requires a two-thirds majority in the Senate it's clear that we're not going to see Donald Trump hauled away in hand cuffs. And it's not that he isn't super-guilty of the things outlined in the articles of impeachment, it's because the GOP has a weird cult-y Stockholm syndrome thing going on with him. But still, you'd have thought the Republicans would have at least put up a pretense that ours was still a functioning democracy.

"Functioning Democracy? That's cute."

-Republicans

America: it was nice while it lasted.

Senator Lindsay Graham, whose goddamn job as chair of the Senate Judiciary Committee is to oversee the executive branch, told CNN on Saturday how over this whole impeachment thing he is and how he wants it to be over as quickly as possible. When pressed about if it's appropriate for him to be talking like this since he's basically a juror, he shrugged and said: "Well, I must think so because I'm doing it." Which, I mean, can he not hear himself? He went on drive what may have been the last nail into the coffin that is the Republic, saying:

"I am trying to give a pretty clear signal I have made up my mind. I'm not trying to pretend to be a fair juror here..."

-Linsday Graham, speaking from his new

office inside the President's actual ass

Not literally of course, but not not literally, you know?

But again, he really does spend
most of his time up Trump's ass.

Graham went on to-huh? Too far? These guys are blithely dismantling the system of checks and balances that separate us from the one-party rule of say China or Putin's Russia and my suggesting that members of the Republican party have figuratively set up shop inside Donald Trump's rectum is going to far? I think not. Anyway, Graham's comments came not long after Majority Leader Mitch McConnell announced that there would "be no difference between the President's position and how position..." and that:

Pictured: Basically Mitch McConnell

"[e]verything I do during this, I will be coordinating with White House counsel."

-Mitch McConnell, writing a 

Bryan Adams-style power ballad 

about his undying love for Trump

Which again, is the opposite of how checks and balances work.

So Rome had the Visigoths, The Empire had Endor and I think somewhere, deep down we all kind of knew that old, rich white guys looking out for one another would ultimately be the end of America, but I just never thought it would be about the former host of The Apprentice.

At least with a barbarian invasion we could have gone out with a little
dignity instead of this septuagenarian circle jerk, but here we are.* 

*What? When we're talking about our democracy crashing down around our ears. I'm not sure "septuagenarian circle jerk" is really all that out of line.