Pat Robertson: Nuanced Asshat

So obviously Alabama is run by backwards zealots still smarting about that time we kicked their asses over the question of whether or not it was ok for them to own people, but when Pat freaking Robertson says you've gone too far, it's time to reevaluate, dontcha think?

I'll stop bringing it up when they admit that they were
wrong, take down the statues and stop sucking so hard.

What? You don't know. They're
always shooting him from the waist
up, he could be all gears and hydraulics
under there for all any of us know. 

Let's hear what Robertson has to say about Alabama's crazily unconstitutional, Atwoodian dystopia new abortion law:

"I think Alabama has gone too far. They've passed a law that would give a ninety-nine year prison sentence to people who commit abortion. There's no exception for rape or incest."

-Pat Robertson or some kind

of animatronic doppelgänger? 

Saudi Arabia? Just give Alabama a
couple years. Huh? No, that was not
a tasteless joke, that was a prediction. 

Wai-wai-wait a minute, this is someone who just the other day announced that God will smite America if the Equality Act passes and gay people are suddenly protected from people like him. Someone who once suggested that women would happier if they'd just shut up. Someone who once advised a man to move to Saudi Arabia so he can legally assault his wife. But somehow, improbably he's scrapped together an iota of human decency and spoken out against Alabama's Pro-Life shitheel mafia? I... I'm not sure I can handle-

-oh wait, hang on, there's more:

"But the Alabama case, God bless them. They're trying to do something, but I don't think that's the case and I don't want to bring it to the Supreme Court."

-Pat Robertson, not talking

about gay sex...for once

Above: the face he usually makes when talking about gay sex. 

Above: The worst person
they could find in 2018.

Ah. Well, I guess that tracks. So while he's against Alabama's batshit new law, it's not just because it's a gross violation of a woman's constitutional right to control her own body, he's also thinking about it politically. His reasoning is that if this goes to the Supreme Court it will lose, and Roe V. Wade will be strengthened. Which, sure, sounds like the kind of shrewd political maneuvering Jesus was famous for. Anyway, the GOP's been working hard to pack the bench with the literal worst people they can find for years now, so who knows?

But motivations aside, Pat 'God Can't Tell the Difference Between Dungeons and Dragons and Actual Magic' Robertson is, for once in his long, long, long, long-I'm saying he's old-life, not entirely on the wrong side of something. Well, credit where credit is due. Ok, not that much credit, I mean, he's still Pat Robertson.

No, of course Pat Robertson is still a reprehensible asshat he's just a slightly less reprehensible
asshat than Governor Kay Ivey and the Alabama State Senate when it comes to this one issue.
You see, I think it's important to have a nuanced approach to calling people asshats.