Monday, March 2, 2015

Hey Internet, cut the Shat some slack!

He's had a rough couple of days...
So can we maybe like be nicer to William Shatner? Don't know what am I talking about? Well, you see the internets are alight right now with outrage directed at the actor for missing the funeral of his friend and co-star Leonard Nimoy who passed away on Friday. And it's not like a: 'hey, it's weird he wasn't there' or even a 'what's up with that?' kind of thing. It's been pretty brutal. He spent much of Sunday defending himself on Twitter from people who are seriously pissed at him for not being there, but I think a very good question is who the hell are these people exactly? They're not like, Nimoy's family or anything, they're just people with internet access, Twitter accounts and strong opinions about other people's lives. And that's some bullshit.*

Although unlike real voting there's no
electoral college involved, so your vote
 actually counts. Like, mathematically.
Having an opinion about whether or not William Shatner should have shown up to Leonard Nimoy's funeral, isn't exactly the same thing as having a valid opinion about it. It's not like it's up for a vote...oh, wait, I guess it sort of is up for a vote, but the point is, it shouldn't be. Sure, we all love internet polls, but this isn't a vote to pick the next Dorito flavor, this is people passing judgement on shit that's none of their business. I don't mean to sound undemocratic here, but our opinions here are meaningless. Nobody involved cares what we think, nor should they.

You see, Kirk rhymes with jerk,
so it's like, you know, wordplay.
And it's not just random schlubs either, news outlets are chiming in. Check out this story from Daily News. It's a newspaper. Kind of. Anyway, don't feel like clicking on the link? No problem, I'll sum it up with some of the hacky quotes which cleverly reference Star Trek:

"Claims night event in Florida means he can't 'beam up' to L.A. in Time" 

"Captain Kirk did transport himself to Los Angeles on Sunday...but did not make it to the ceremony...would have needed to hit warp speed."

"(fans) thought it highly illogical the 83-year-old actor did not hustle back..."

The ship was fake, but those pecs?
Pure Shatner. Fact.
Holy shit Daily News, for real? Warp speed? Highly illogical? First of all, and I can't stress this enough, William Shatner isn't really a space captain. He's an actor and as such doesn't actually have access to a transporter or a warp drive. If he did, then this would be a fair criticism, but since he doesn't, shut up. Secondly, the guy was appearing at a charity ball for the Red Cross in Florida, it's not like he skipped Nimoy's funeral so he could stay at home and binge-watch season three of House of Cards, so also, shut up. And while we're on the subject, Florida to L.A.? Kind of a schlep.

Oh, and just so we're clear, I'm not leaping to the defense of William Shatner just because I'm a huge nerd. I am, for obvious reasons, a Picard-guy, but seriously, maybe we should keep our opinions to ourselves on this one.
"As the Tamarians say: 'the river Temarc, in winter.'
Which, roughly translated, means shut the hell up."
-Captain Jean-Luc Picard,
demonstrating his awesome

Is that good?
*Yeah, I suppose voicing an opinion on the internet about other how people shouldn't voice an opinion on the internet is itself a little, you know, bullshit, but hey hypocrisy is what made the internet great. Well, that and quizzes that tell you which character from Girls you are. Oh, and in case you were wondering, I got Jessa. I've never actually seen the show so I'm not sure what that says about me.

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