The first step is admitting that you're a dick...

Rick Perry is genetically inclined
to be an asshole, yet feels compelled
to follow that particular lifestyle.

Hey look! Rick Perry has something to say about gay people. Let's all listen:

"Whether or not you feel compelled to follow a particular lifestyle or no, you have the ability to decide not to do that...I may have the genetic coding that I'm inclined to be an alcoholic, but I have the desire not to do that, and I look at the homosexual issue the same way."

-Texas Governor Rick Perry

on how alcoholism and being 

gay are kinda the same thing

No, really, that is what he's said today during a Q&A at the Commonwealth Club of California, in San Francisco. Yeah, San Fran-'Third Gayest City in America'-cisco. 

Wait a minute, third gayest? Seriously?

"What? I'm just saying it's similar.
I think of homosexuals as cockoholics."

Coming days after the Texas GOP added support for the scientifically debunked practice of 'curative treatments for gays' to an already crazy platform, Dr. Rick Perry just compared homosexuality to alcoholism and while it's interesting that he-wait, what? He's not a-

"I don't know. I'm not a psychologist. I'm not a doctor..."

-Rick Perry on how he's not a doctor

No shit he's not a doctor, yet strangely that didn't stop him from offering an opinion about the medical underpinnings of human sexuality. A subject about which he clearly knows nothing. So why then is he opening his leathery face-hole on the topic in the first place? Doesn't he have handlers?

Turns out he had handlers...