Thursday, March 6, 2014

CPACing Heat

Man, Jon Bon Jovi must be rolling over in his grave.* Check this out. It's GOP minority leader Mitch McConnell wandering aimlessly on to the stage at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC, see?) today toting a rifle while Bon Jovi's Livin' on a Prayer blares in the background. He then held the gun awkwardly aloft before not being wrestled to the ground by security. Instead, was applauded by the assembled conservatives.
Above: Mitch McConnell demonstrating responsible gun ownership
by waving a rifle over his head in a packed auditorium. Because 'merica.
He's not threatening you, that's
 just how Republicans say hello.
So my question is, what is wrong with these people? A confused-looking elderly man meanders into a crowded political event carrying a potentially deadly weapon and gets a standing O? I mean, I know he's white, but still, this is a party who by and large support your Second Amendment right to blow away anyone who looks at you cross-eyed. For all he knew any one of those concealed-weapon assholes in the crowd could have shouted 'standing my ground!' and opened fire.

Although he could probably do it.
I heard Senator Reid can bench like 280.
Ok, in fairness, McConnell was presenting the weapon to Senator Tom Coburn who's retiring. It's a lifetime achievement award from the NRA, and (probably) not loaded, but the symbolism, in case you missed being bludgeoned by it, is that Republicans stand for guns and God unlike the Democrats who stand for, uh, not shooting people? Don't they know they're being pandered to? I'm trying to think of the left wing equivalent and the closest I can come is Harry Reid walking out with a gay married couple with health insurance clinging to his back.

I know that one of the core tenets of the GOP platform is an irrational devotion to a subjective interpretation of an amendment written at a time when guns had all the accuracy of autocorrect, but you'd think that they'd recognize just how crazy the visual of Mitch McConnell recklessly brandishing a deadly weapon to glam rock really makes them all look.
Besides, I'd be much more concerned about the Third Amendment.
I mean, the goddamn Redcoats can stay at the Radisson for all I care.

Jon Bon Jovi: noted recording artist,
supporter of the DNC, and living person.

*Just so nobody freaks out, Jon Bon Jovi is totally not dead. Although were he dead, he would be spinning like a rotisserie chicken. While not officially a member of the Democratic Party, he did campaign for both John Kerry and Barack Obama. So the CPAC's choice of sound track is a little like Nancy Pelosi campaigning to something by Ted Nugent.

1 comment:

  1. He should have stood over a prostrate Mark Hammil and made the sand person sound while holding the gun like a gaffi stick. Not that this would have made me vote for him or any of his friends.