Wednesday, February 26, 2014

What does she want, a cookie?

Arizona Governor Jan Brewer just vetoed SB 1062, that bullshit piece of legislation passed last week by the GOP-controlled state legislature. Remember that one?
"...and that's how the liberals and their homosexual agenda
 are ruining America. And don't get me started on the Jews..."

-SB 1062
It's like she was trying to
pad out an English paper.
The bill was designed to protect religious people from discrimination by protecting their right to discriminate against gay people. See how that works? Of course you don't, it was insane, but it's dead now, and that's awesome...mostly. Here's an excerpt from the Governor's bizarrely formated statement:

"I took the time necessary to make the RIGHT [her caps, not mine] decision. I met with or spoke to my attorneys, lawmakers and citizens supporting and opposing this legislation. 
I listened...and asked questions."

-GOVERNOR Jan...Brewer,
seriously, check it out, it's how she writes

"My name is Greg, and I'm going to get
you started on drinks, but first, do you
both accept Jesus as your personal savior?"
Like I said, it's great that she killed the bill but I have some questions myself. For instance: what in the name of hell took so goddamn long? Governor Brewer just spent the last few days mulling this thing over and while she got there in the end, this was a bill that would have made it totally ok to discriminate against anyone, anytime and in any way as long as you say it's because of your 'sincerely held' religious beliefs. What exactly does 'sincerely held' even mean? Nobody knows. This was a vaguely-worded license to be an asshole, and it somehow required a week of soul-searching and a team of legal experts to see the problem with it.

"What, are you in a hurry? I'll cut the 
wire when I'm ready to cut the wire. "
Well, either that, or she just pausing for dramatic effect, like in a movie when we have to wait until 00:01 to cut the blue wire. I mean, was she genuinely not sure what the right thing to do was? I get that it's important to hear both sides of an argument before coming to a conclusion, but holy shit, shouldn't this have been something of a foregone? When one side is made up of foaming at the mouth homophobic lunatics do we really have to give them the floor?

Yes, ultimately Governor Brewer saw the blindingly obvious problem with fighting imaginary religious persecution with actual, legalized discrimination and vetoed SB 1062, but should it really have been such a struggle?
Governor Jan Brewer:
This slow clap's for you!

1 comment:

  1. I, for one, lament the chance to move to AZ and set up a new "Church of the Holy Fuck Y'all". Our sincerely held religious belief is NONE OF YOUR GODDAMNED BUSINESS, NOW PISS OFF!