Let's Celebrate Towel Day!

There, done. Happy Towel Day.

Holy crap, today is Towel Day! It's apparently an international celebration of the works of Douglas Adams. I'm not sure how this one has eluded me for the last 11 years, but there you go. The titular towel is a reference to the super-imporatant piece of space hitchhiking equipment recommended by the equally titular Guide in Adams' Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. To celebrate, one just carries a towel around all day. That's it. No cards, no gifts, just carry a damn towel.

Above: Thurmond, shortly after
drinking from one of the fake grails.

Why does Douglas Adams get a day? I'll tell you, but first off, why the sass? Anyway, he was of the greatest writers ever and he had absolutely no business dying back in 2001 at the age of 49. Fourty-freaking-nine. Like seriously, let's analyze the exact amount of fairness in a universe where Strom Thurmond, a noted racist, hypocrite and U.S. Senator lives to 101 while the guy who came up with Bistromathmatics doesn't get half that many years. It works out to exactly 0.02 justice units (or less than .01º Ginsburg).

Really God? No Willow 2? Four
Crocodile Dundees but no Willow 2?

For this reason, I'd like to propose a new holiday: we'll call it something like 'Kvetch Day' or 'What the Hell, God? Day.' Unlike Towel Day, this will be a solemn day of reflection whereupon we...uh...reflect upon ridiculous injustices like human suffering, war and the fact there was never a sequel to Willow. Now at first glance it seems a little depressing, but once we all start celebrating it I think we'll find that it's really quite cathartic (cathartic means depressing, right?).


No one will get it off of work, because hey, it's 'What the Hell, God? Day' and it's supposed to be kind of a bummer but there will be games. Like what you ask? Here's one: people can get together and go around the room bringing up things that just suck and then everyone will will say 'I know, right?' followed by some angry skyward fist shaking. It'll be a blast.

Nicole: "I mean, sure, it was no E.T, but if you figure in home video,
the oversees box office and cable TV rights, Willow made a profit."
Alan: "I know, right?" 

p.s. Oh, and incidentally...