The line must be drawn here!

You know, we Trekkies put up with a lot, but this goes too far. Did you click on the link? Good, then you read that not only has the Star Trek sequel been pushed back until 2013, but that it's now going to be in 3-frelling-D. Yeah, that thing from the '50's. 

Try and guess which one is the Communist infiltrator!

"Yeah, actually it made almost $3 
billion including overseas sales."

-Some Blue Space Elf

Ok, fine, people were easier to entertain back then, I get that. There were like 3 channels, what the hell else were they going to do? So what's our excuse? What about seeing shit fly at us from the screen in nausea-inducing stereoscopic vision is so appealing? It doesn't add to the story-telling and it's certainly no good for people who, like me, get motion sickness. So what's up? On an unrelated note, did you know that Avatar made like a billion dollars? Anyway, for some reason making movies in 3D is totally in right now. 

According to Back to the Future 2
we should have holo-sharks by 2015.

But will 3D still be the big damn deal it is now? I doubt it. A lot can change in two years. Assume for a moment that by 2013 Kulkulkán hasn't devoured the sun, won't 3D be a thing of the past? You know, again? C'mon, it's going to be the future by then. I was kind of hoping we'd have holograms or some kind of direct-brain download or something. Does anyone really think we'll still be slapping on a pair of communal eye wear covered in 4 years worth of other people's face-goo?

Remember Deep Impact? No? Exactly.

The worst part about Star Trek 3D, is that it will come right in the middle of the re-re-re-release of Star Wars in 3D thus giving 'Wars fans another reason to claim that Star Trek is somehow a rip of George 'Neckbeard' Lucas's opus. I mean, the story in the last one was kind of similar: A farm boy with a magic destiny dreams of going into space and gets guidance from a wise old man with powers, sound familiar? There's even a bad-guy that blows up planets. Adding 3D makes it feel a little me-too. It'd be the other 3D space movie; the Deep Impact to Star Wars' Armageddon. 

It might as well be
a Virgin Merit Badge.

It might seem like I'm getting worked up over a movie that's two years off and might totally be good (and I am), but you should know that I can't help it. Star Trek fandom is pretty low on the scale of socially acceptable nerderies, even among other geeks. Why? No one knows, but for reasons beyond our ken, Trekky-ism seems to come in just behind asthmatic mathlete and only slightly above the Babylon 5 Fan Club (what? I said 'slightly'). We're a little sensitive about it, especially when it comes to Star Wars fans, who are (inexplicably) considered cooler than us. 

Even the appearance that Star Trek is being turned into a Star Wars knock-off is pretty vexing. Trekkies are many things, but we are not the kind of dork that will stand outside a movie theatre staging battles with plastic light sabres. We do, after all, have our dignity.

"Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack."

-Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #109