We're sø scrëwed!

Wooden shoes? Wow, the
Dutch can't have a bad idea!

When you think of the Netherlands, what comes to mind? Tulips, windmills and American college students on journeys of self (and flavored pot) discovery, right? Well now we can add Ground Zero for Human Extinction to the list because a bunch of Dutch scienceticians have decided to come up with a deadlier, more contagious version of the bird flu (or H5N1 if you're nasty). You might be wondering why they would do this terrible thing. Unfortunately we may never know, they are, after all, Dutch.

You know, I'm all for science, it's great, but I'm having a real hard time seeing the practical value in coming up with even more terrifying diseases than the ones we already have.

Next up: Super AIDS. Not only can it fly, but it's also resistant to missiles.
The only known treatment is to turn yourself into a morph ball and use bombs.

Absolutely H-A-T-E-S us.

I mean, hasn't nature totally got it covered? It did come up with bubonic plague, smallpox and malaria all on it's own. If there's one thing we, as a species, should have picked up on over the last few years is that the planet and everything on it hates us. It's not just disease: earthquakes, floods, hurricanes, tsunami, volcanoes, Twilight, wild-fires-it's a miracle we're even still around to invent the next pandemic. Of course the new virus is probably safely locked up behind one of those quaint double-door things, but who knows what might happen in the future?

What's even more pants-shittingly scary is the fact that these guys plan to publish a 'how-to' guide to their work; sort of an FAQ for doomsday. That way any super-villain with an English/Dutch dictionary and access to a science lab (name one that doesn't) can hold the planet hostage. Thanks The Netherlands, thanks alot.

Behold: Dr. Renée van der Pol, Supreme Empress of the Earth,
seen here holding a vial of the Avian Ultra-Flu with which she seized power.